Girlz Want to Know: Answers to Real Life Questions (Paperback)

Chapter One

Questions About Family

Q. My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer. Sometimes he's in a lot of pain. He works a lot, and when he is home, it seems as if he and my mom are always going on walks together. I need him, too!

A. I'm so sorry your dad is fighting the tough battle of cancer. He's probably frightened and wondering how much time he has left. That must be scary for you as well.

If his days are numbered, he may be spending more time with your mom to ensure that everything's taken care of. For example, they may be talking about insurance, savings, the money for your future college years, etc. He probably wants to make sure your family will be well provided for after he's gone. And they may feel it's inappropriate, or too disturbing, to include you and your brothers or sisters in these conversations.

And though it seems he's spending extra time with your mom, he may not even realize that the two of you haven't had much time together recently. Why not bake his favorite dessert? Or rent one of his all-time fave videos, make some popcorn, and curl up on the couch with him.

Ask if the two of you can have a dad-daughter date, and tell him how much you love him. Meanwhile, since you know he's in physical pain, pray for him and be patient with him.

Q. Every person in my family is or was addicted to something. Can that be passed down in the genes?

A. Yes and no. Let's take it slow and simple, okay? There is such a thing as having a predisposition to addiction. That means you may have tendencies toward addiction. But if you know that, you can certainly learn to make wise choices to stay away from addictive things.

We all have free choice. Your family may be predisposed toward addictive behavior, but that doesn't mean there's no hope. You don't have to become addicted.

God doesn't want anyone to be addicted to anything. Have you asked him for help? Why don't we pray about it right now, okay?

Dear Jesus:

It makes me sad that everyone in my family is, or has been, addicted to something. I don't want to become an addict. Will you take control of my life? I want to give myself totally to you, Jesus. Please help me to stay completely away from anything that could become addictive such as cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, pornography, and (fill in the blank with anything else you can think of).

Guide me, Father. Teach me how to make wise choices. I love you, and I'll trust you with my life. Amen.

Q. My seven-year-old brother loves to get me in trouble. I don't know what to do to make him stop. I've told my parents, but they don't do anything about it. How can I make him stop?

A. This may not be the answer you're wanting, but here goes. You probably can't make him stop. None of us can control other people's behavior. But here's the good news: This is an important lesson for you to learn. Why? Because we go through our entire lives having to deal with people who don't behave right, and the sooner we learn to handle it, the better.

Even though he's saying stuff to get you in trouble, promise God that you'll always be honest. People often get accused of something that wasn't their fault, and there's no defense. It's not fair, but it happens. God knows your heart, and he can help you endure the consequences of your brother's behavior-even though you're not to blame. Jesus was crucified on a cross, and he was completely innocent. He has the power to help you in similar situations.

There will probably be others in your life who will blame you for something you didn't do, or tell lies about you. Keep being honest. Eventually, those around you will see you as a young lady of integrity and great character. And the dishonesty in others will be seen as well.

One more thing: Even though you may get in trouble when you don't deserve it ... you can still feel really good about yourself by knowing you're an honest girl. Always tell the truth.

(Continues...)