This Mystery (CD)

Confident, questioning. Performer, introvert. Fun-loving, intellectual. All are somewhat contradictory, and all describe Nichole Nordeman, who has grown quite comfortable with mystery. It's even the theme of her new album, This Mystery, the idea that, in her words, "God is big enough and powerful enough that I should tremble in His presence, but small enough to meet me in my bed at night."

The songs reflect the wonder, the joy, and often the pain, that can accompany life. And they seldom end with a period; more often, they are enveloped in question marks. "I think there are a lot of people who desire the open-ended question," Nordeman says. "But occasionally I receive a letter from someone who wants to give me the answer. It's interesting to watch people squirm in the face of ambiguity. Sometimes they're right. Sometimes I disagree. I think it's a healthy part of being part of the Christian community."

It can also be exhausting, Nordeman admits. "Surprisingly to most people," she says, "I am pretty introverted. There comes that time when I say, Man, I just need three days to recharge here."

Nordeman's candor is refreshing, and it comes from a long, winding, sometimes meandering faith journey. "I had a great childhood," she remembers. "I grew up in a Christian home, went to Christian schools, completely immersed in the Christian community. I remember having a lot of fun."

Everything was smooth and undisturbed. And, Nordeman sighs, ultimately shallow. "I understood so little about intimacy with Christ. The end of that era shapes what I do now. The growing up process, realizing that life is not as small as it was in that Christian community. Realizing how people disappoint you and how I disappoint people."

Confident, questioning. Performer, introvert. Fun-loving, intellectual. All are somewhat contradictory, and all describe Nichole Nordeman, who has grown quite comfortable with mystery. It's even the theme of her new album, This Mystery, the idea that, in her words, "God is big enough and powerful enough that I should tremble in His presence, but small enough to meet me in my bed at night."

The songs reflect the wonder, the joy, and often the pain, that can accompany life. And they seldom end with a period; more often, they are enveloped in question marks. "I think there are a lot of people who desire the open-ended question," Nordeman says. "But occasionally I receive a letter from someone who wants to give me the answer. It's interesting to watch people squirm in the face of ambiguity. Sometimes they're right. Sometimes I disagree. I think it's a healthy part of being part of the Christian community."

It can also be exhausting, Nordeman admits. "Surprisingly to most people," she says, "I am pretty introverted. There comes that time when I say, Man, I just need three days to recharge here."

Nordeman's candor is refreshing, and it comes from a long, winding, sometimes meandering faith journey. "I had a great childhood," she remembers. "I grew up in a Christian home, went to Christian schools, completely immersed in the Christian community. I remember having a lot of fun."

Everything was smooth and undisturbed. And, Nordeman sighs, ultimately shallow. "I understood so little about intimacy with Christ. The end of that era shapes what I do now. The growing up process, realizing that life is not as small as it was in that Christian community. Realizing how people disappoint you and how I disappoint people."

"Excellence in art honors God, whether or not we say 'Jesus' 12 times in a song," she continues, "even if someone else doesn't get it or it doesn't meet the qualifications of a committee. I used to worry about how 'Christian' my music was. I don't know what makes a song 'Christian'. I think it goes back to your heart and your intent when you were writing the song. I think God can be honored through stories, songs about love, songs about your family. God created these things, and they're good."

The search for God in the everyday has become a passion for Nordeman. She has been moving away from the regimented patterns and seeking the "small moments" of eternal significance. "I want to be more aware and not miss those things," she says. "It's so easy to lose that in the midst of chaos and schedule, taking the time for the little girl who wants three seconds of my time, and how important that is. And on this last tour [with Avalon and Anointed], I had to get real creative in finding those quiet places, those choir rooms and prayer chapels where I could get away and write songs, be with God."

The result of those alone times, This Mystery, has Nordeman excited. "Musically, [the new album] is so stunning, mostly because of the production that Mark Hammond has done," she says. "It takes so many risks that Christian music doesn't usually take."

"Lyrically, it's so different from Wide Eyed," she says. "'Please Come' is a very important song to me because it's about an open invitation for all people to come to the Lord. That's something that I'm not sure evangelical Christianity is doing well, because it seems like there are lots of boundaries drawn and certain types of people tend to get shut out. People who struggle with homosexuality get shut out, people who come from single-parent homes can get shut out. We're uncomfortable because we don't know what to do with them. And we forget that's when the arms of the Lord are the most open, when people are the most hurting."

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Used with permission, Release Magazine