Chapter One
Session One
A Way Out
None of us begins life hoping to be just like everyone else. In fact,
most of us have a distinct fear of being ordinary. We all know
what it's like to dream big. As children and teenagers and maybe even
young adults, our dreams were larger than life. And that's what made
us unique.
But before we knew what was happening, we had jobs, families, and
a Palm Pilot filled with long to-do lists. There were homes to buy, cars
to wash, and lawns to mow. Little by little, our lives were starting to
resemble everyone else's. And our big dreams were nowhere in sight. It's
this awareness of the sameness of our lives that can leave us feeling
trapped. That's when many of us become deluded by a common misconception.
And unless we wake up to reality, we can make the mistake
of a lifetime.
In this session, we'll expose a common myth that has been the
destroyer of many lives. Just as running away is a bad idea for teenagers,
it doesn't work for adults either. If what we ultimately desire is a genuinely
fulfilling life, there is a better way. And as we're about to see, it's not so
much about changing our circumstances, but renovating the
internal belief system that has been driving our decisions.
RUN AWAY
Did you ever attempt to or contemplate running away as a
kid? What is it you wanted to run away from? What did you
want to run to? In retrospect, why would it have been a very
bad idea to run away?
VIDEO NOTES
(Read This or Watch Session 1 of the DVD)
Culture offers an alternative to the sameness in which we
find ourselves. Run away! We are sold the message that in
order for my life to be better, richer, and more breathtaking,
I need to run. I need to break all the rules because it is the rules
that are hemming me in. I need to leave my wife, quit my job,
move to Vegas.
But ask those who have tried it. At the end of the day, running
away only makes life more complicated. Nothing has
really changed. You still aren't a rock star, professional athlete,
actress, or a super model. You are just you with a bigger pile
of regret.
The reason is that although running away might change
your surroundings, there is still a common denominator-you.
You are where you are because of decisions you made.
You believed something at the time of your decisions that led
you to think they were either good decisions or bad decisions
whose outcomes you could manage. When we get fed up with
our outcomes, we assume that if we can just go back and
remake some decisions, we will have more pleasant outcomes.
But if you alter what you do without altering what you
think/believe you will get a similar outcome. This is why second
marriages have a higher failure rate than first ones.
Deciding different isn't always a solution. If your beliefs about
marriage are the same, your choices won't be that different.
Changing jobs, husbands, schools, boyfriends, houses, neighborhoods,
won't do you any good. A different life outcome is
not just a matter of deciding better. It is the outcome of
thinking and believing differently.
So in this study we are going to begin the process of renovating
our thinking (Romans 12:2), because breakaway
thinking leads to breakaway living, which leads to breakaway
outcomes. Over the next five weeks we will focus on four core
beliefs that, once embraced, have the power to change the trajectory
of your life. But before we get to these four core
beliefs, we need to take the time up front to examine our current
beliefs, decisions, and outcomes.
{"The doors we open and close each day
decide the lives we live."
-Flora Whittemore}
[NOTES]
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Take a few moments to discuss your answers to these questions
with the group.
1. What were your dreams in childhood?
2. What are some of the most significant
decisions that shaped the outcome of your life?
3. What were the deeply held beliefs behind
your decisions?
4. When have you attempted to run away
from the outcomes of your decisions?
What was the result?
5. If you could change one outcome now,
what would it be?
6. Renovating your thinking begins with getting
rid of the old. What beliefs do you need to
reexamine in order to breakaway in this area?
MILEPOSTS
* As much as we like to think otherwise, our lives
have a sameness that can be stifling and leave us
feeling hemmed in and trapped.
* If I am wondering how my life became the way it
is, it is because of the decisions I have made. My
decisions are a result of my beliefs.
* In order to breakaway from the monotony,
to rekindle our dreams, we must have breakaway
beliefs.
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Think about an area of your life that is a source of discontentment
right now. Have you been tempted to run away?
How have your personal decisions gotten you here? What
belief was behind those decisions? You may even want to
write out the following progression.
My belief that __________________ led me to decide to
__________________________ and now the outcome is
_______________________. If change begins at the point of
our belief, what brand-new belief needs to replace the old in
this scenario?
THINK ABOUT IT
Often we make decisions we know to be wrong because we
believe we can manage the outcome. Think of a time you have
done that. How did it work? Whether it works every time or
not, what assumptions are we making when we do the wrong
thing and hope it will somehow turn out right anyway?
CHANGING YOUR MIND
God's Word is the only reliable source from which we can
obtain solid truth to fuel a renovated belief system. The breakaway
life begins here. You can start by meditating on the
following verse this week.
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his
good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:2
DAILY DEVOTIONS
To help you prepare for session two, use these suggested
devotions throughout the week leading up to your small
group meeting.
Day One
Read Romans 12:1-2. Breakaway living begins with breakaway
thinking-transforming your mind. Pray today that
God would transform your mind over the next several weeks.
Day Two
Read Proverbs 3:5. The concept of trust in this culture carried
the idea of lying helplessly face down. It is a picture of relying
on someone else for security. Why is this often hard for
us to do? Evaluate how much you trust God through the day.
Day Three
Read Proverbs 3:5 again. Solomon contrasts trusting in
God with leaning on our own understanding. Today,
observe how often you take things into your own hands
rather than trusting God.
Day Four
Read Proverbs 3:6. "Ways" encompasses every arena of life-business,
marriage, relationships, conflict management,
parenting, money management, etc. Everywhere else in the
Old Testament, "acknowledge" is used to signify submission.
So in other words, acknowledge His right to rule, say yes to
His instruction in every arena. In what areas of your life do
you need to acknowledge God. Pick one and focus on submitting
to God in that area today.
Day Five
Read Proverbs 3:6 again. Trusting in God will lead you to a
lifestyle characterized by good decision-making and positive
outcomes. Today, focus on the paths God can lead you to, if
you would trust in Him.
Last week .
We learned that the circumstances (or outcomes) of our lives
are shaped by our decisions, and our decisions are ultimately
shaped by what we believe. We learned that to live a truly
breakaway life, we need to allow God to renovate our beliefs.
(Continues.)
