Chapter OneSection 1 Denying
Denying: to declare untrue, to disclaim connection with
or responsibility for, to refuse to accept.
God never comes through the door that I hold open for
But always knocks at the one place which I have walled
up with concrete.
But if I do not let Him in there,
He turns away altogether.
It's a funny thing about grief-handling it efficiently
doesn't make it go away.
How do I manage a difficulty? Well, at first I try to
walk past it. If that does not help, I try to climb over it;
and when I cannot climb over it, to crawl underneath.
And when that is not possible, I go straight through-God
Corrie ten Boom
Clippings From My Notebook
the Fog to Reality
You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!
Jeremiah 6:14, tlb
You may encounter some of these feelings when facing the reality of
your loss. At times you may feel as if you're walking on a road through
a dense fog, stumbling through the nothingness that surrounds you,
groping for an escape yet finding none.
Getting fogged in was a common occurrence when we lived in
Oregon. Most mornings I would peer out our family room window
expecting to see fir trees and mountains, only to find they had vanished
Whenever the fog rolled in, I felt out of control, thinking about airport
delays and white-knuckle driving. Over time, though, I learned to
cope with the eerie white vapor and to forge through it-sometimes with
the help of my car's high beams. I realized the impairment was temporary,
and that gave me hope to endure. By afternoon the fog would lift,
and I could see clearly again.
That's how it is with grief. Our initial shock over a loved one's death
may cause us to deny it or ignore it. We may feel lost, paralyzed, in
limbo, somewhere between reality and a dream.
This can't be happening! you think.
But it is.
I don't want to face it!
But you have to.
Maybe not right this moment. That's okay. But if you want to journey
through grief, you must look beyond the clouds created by denial
and fears. With God's strength and in His timing, the fog will begin to
clear, and you'll be able to see reality again. It may not be what you want
to see, and it may look quite different than before, but it is a necessary
part of your journey through grief.
How are you coping with your loss? When you look out the window
of your circumstance today, what do you see? Are you in the fog, denying
reality? Or is the fog beginning to clear to reveal a new landscape?
Lord, it's so hard to cope with what has happened. I don't want to believe
my loved one is gone. I keep hoping I'll wake up and discover this is only a
dream. I feel so unsure about where I am right now. I can't see what life
should look like. Please help me through this part of the journey. You say
that You will never leave me or forsake me and that You will be a lamp to
my feet. Please be my headlights and lead me through this time of uncertainty
and pain. Amen.
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My Personal Journey