Joy Comes in the Mourning
Joy is the serious business of heaven.
—C. S. Lewis
We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.
—Seneca
Between the two of us, we have written some one hundred books. Some of these have hit bestseller lists; others have hit bargain bins. Mostly you will find our books in the humor section of bookstores and libraries. Or at the bottom of a broken desk leg, keeping the desk in balance.
Wherever you happen to find our books, we hope they've brought a few smiles your way. But don't think we don't try to write serious things, too. It's just that our train of serious thought only has a caboose. We both love to laugh and would rather make whatever points we feel we'd like to make through the avenue of humor.
Often complete strangers will come up to us and tell us a joke or a funny happening in their lives. We love and expect this. If after several hours they're still not done and they want to go home with us to finish telling the story, well, that can get a bit uncomfortable. But still, like we said, we have come to expect this and other odd but fun behaviors from our readers.
I (Phil) was sitting in a restaurant once when an autograph seeker came over and said, "Excuse me, would you mind ..." and I said, as politely as I could, "Can this wait until after dinner?" The stranger looked at me funny and said, "I just wanted to borrow your salt shaker." I gave him the salt and an autograph. He had never heard of me and didn't really want the autograph, but I didn't want to come across as proud and not give him one.
Perhaps the most surprising thing is how often someone will come to us and tell us the single most tragic event of their lives. Laughter and tears are closely linked, it would seem. We're not sure why so many people will share their needs with us. Perhaps they sense that humorists can laugh about almost anything, and they want us to help them find what they can laugh about in their lives, too. Sometimes, though, they will tell us a story that stops us in our tracks, and we can't stop thinking about it for days. One of those events took place a hundred miles from Phil's front door, and the results are still being tallied.
On a dark February night, fourteen-year-old Daniel Garrard took the family van out for a joyride, collided with a semitrailer, and was killed. Daniel's mother, Terra, and his three siblings were devastated. As a single mother, Terra worked hard in a grocery store to make ends meet, but without a car and without hope, despair closed in around her.
Two teens, Katelin Allert and Amy Fitzpatrick, were watching, though. And they wondered what they could do to help their co-~worker. How about a fund-raiser? Maybe they could help her buy a van.
At first the dream seemed impossible. For one thing, the logistics would have challenged a professional fund-raiser. But the two teenagers began to plan. First, they convinced the manager of the grocery store where they worked to give them five hundred dollars. They used the money to put down a deposit on the best venue in town. Next, they began visiting business after business asking for an auction item or a donation. Something surprising began to happen.
"Before we went into each one, we prayed," recalls Katelin. "Only one business in the whole city turned us down."*
At her irresistible urging, Katelin's father, Gord, a guitar virtuoso, began inviting musician friends to come and play at the event. Gladly they hopped on planes. Country star Paul Brandt heard about it and donated an autographed guitar. And Gord asked me (Phil) to speak. I knew I couldn't say no, but what would I speak about? A comedian speaking at a fund-raiser for a young teen who had died such a tragic death?
When Katelin and her mom, Liz, shared the plans with Terra, she was overwhelmed. Liz and Katelin took her shopping for a new outfit to wear at the event. Daniel's mom also expressed interest in a Bible, so they gladly gave her one. As the community heard what was happening, tickets began selling fast. On a Sunday evening in June, three hundred people gathered to support this family in their grief. Standing before them, I talked of joy—how it had invaded our lives when we couldn't explain it. I told them of the peace I'd found in walking with Christ, how happiness depends on what happens but joy does not. We cried together and prayed together.
And as we prayed, the true Christlike actions of these two young girls began to bear fruit. The results were nothing short of miraculous.
We'll let the local newspaper tell you more.
Garrard Touched by Community Support
Hundreds attend benefit in memory of Daniel Garrard, that includes one big surprise
An Evening of Music, Humor and Hope turned into an evening of triumph on Sunday night as hundreds turned out in support of the Garrard family. And, in a move that was known about by only a select few, not only was money raised to support Terra Garrard, but a van from Cochrane Dodge turned out to be a part of the night. "They called me and my family on stage and said they had a little gift they wanted to give me," said a still emotional Garrard on Monday. "They handed me a little bag, and inside were the keys to a van." For Garrard the support was "overwhelming."†
What the paper didn't report is that during the next few weeks, Terra couldn't stop asking questions. But instead of "why?" she began asking "Who?" Who could be behind people loving her the way they had? Who could be there to comfort her in her lonely hours? Who could make all the pain she was feeling ever go away?
As Terra struggled with grief, she began to wonder if what she had seen in Katelin and Amy was worth having for herself. She began reading the Bible that Liz had given to her. On one of her most difficult days, she called the pastor to say, "I need to talk to you, now!" Arriving at the church, she asked Pastor Jason to introduce her to Jesus. Jason grinned. Nothing would please him more.
Ask Katelin and Amy what effect this has had on them, and they'll grin, too. For they have seen God at work. And whenever we see what God is doing, despite our doubts, despite our weaknesses, despite our pain, we can't help but be changed forever.
I (Martha) once received a letter from the aunt of a young Brio magazine reader who was putting together a book for her niece, Anne Farris, on what the meaning of success was. She was writing to different people, asking them to write a response before compiling all the letters into a booklet for Anne.
I answered the letter, saying that I thought the meaning of success was being in the center of God's will for your life. A short while later I received another letter. It was a thank-you note from Anne, saying what my letter had meant to her. As I started to put the note back into the envelope, I noticed something else in there. I pulled it out. It was Anne's obituary. Anne had died suddenly while running laps. She was only fifteen years of age. When I wrote to the address on the envelope, I said how sorry I was to hear about Anne's death. Anne's mother wrote me back and asked me if I had ever considered writing a book for teens on dealing with death.
I ran the idea past my publisher and we broadened it to include divorce, death of different family members, death of a pet, moving away, and other kinds of losses. It was called Saying Goodbye When You Don't Want To, and it is filled with letters from people, young and old, who have had grief in their lives and how they got through it. I think both Anne and Daniel would be pleased to know that through their tragic deaths, so many others have been and are being encouraged and reminded of God's unfailing love.
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.
—Charles Lamb
To do the useful thing, to say a courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.
—T. S. Eliot
* We're not mentioning the name, but it's right there beside the yogurt place on Third. Just kidding. [back to text]
† Cochrane Times, May 16, 2005. [back to text]
In Pursuit of Your Passion
Why does SeaWorld have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize ... I could be eating a slow learner.
—Lynda Montgomery
Some people live to eat. Others live to cook. And some of us (like Phil) live to eat other people's cooking. But even Phil doesn't take it to the extremes that some people do.
At the World Hot Dog Eating Championships held each Fourth of July on Coney Island, New York, Takeru Kobayashi's passion for eating has helped him set the world record. This competitive eater (how come no one offered us that choice on career day at our high schools?) polished off forty-nine hot dogs in just twelve minutes. That's more than one hot dog every fifteen seconds. Though he weighs only 131 pounds, this lean, mean, eating machine has held the hot dog-eating record for five years straight. The reward for eating enough hot dogs to feed a small army? A trophy, a championship belt, and far more important—a year's supply of hot dogs, which at the rate he consumes them, could be enough to feed the Super Bowl attendees.
But Takeru is passionate about the consumption of hot dogs. His nearest opponent was Sonya Thomas, who set the American record by eating thirty-seven hot dogs before the buzzer (and probably her esophagus) sounded.
Nicknamed the Black Widow, Sonya can chow down more in one sitting than a family of eight. Who knows, she might even be able to eat a family of eight if the stakes were right. Sonya is ranked "the number one eater in America." Even more amazing is the fact that she weighs less than one hundred pounds. But she has developed her skill and isn't letting anything get in the way of her goal.
"I am always trying to stretch my stomach," she said in one interview.*
How does someone train for eating events like these? According to Sonya, she runs on the treadmill for close to two hours a day and, as a manager of a Burger King, she gets a good workout being on her feet and overseeing the fast-food operation. Sonya also goes to all-you-can-eat buffets whenever she can, which can't help but stretch one's stomach. No one can eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet on a regular basis and not end up with a stomach more stretched out than the national budgets of both America and Canada.
Sonya holds twenty-seven other world eating titles. She has eaten eight pounds, two ounces of fries in ten minutes; devoured eleven pounds of cheesecake in nine minutes;† and polished off sixty-five hard-boiled eggs in six minutes, forty seconds. At yet another contest she ate over eight pounds of baked beans in two minutes, forty-seven seconds.** But the record she should be most proud of is for oyster consumption. She ate 432 of them in only ten minutes. And was she full at the end of those ten minutes? Amazingly, no. She said she could've eaten even more! This is not someone you could take to a seafood restaurant unless you've just taken a second loan out on your home!
We're sure Takeru trains for his competitions, too. But we can't help wondering why they do it. What drives Takeru and Sonya to train so hard and enter so many food-eating contests? According to Sonya, she does it because she sees competitive eating as an international sport. She would someday like to be treated with the same respect and admiration as sports stars Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan.
Some live to eat, and some live to play. Recently a fifty-four-year-old man was pulled over on a freeway in Toronto. Why? For playing the violin while driving.‡ He told the cops he was on his way to a performance and needed to warm up. He's lucky he didn't play the tuba.
How about you? What is it that you will do almost anything to pursue? What are you passionate about?
Dave Moffitt is passionate about sports. So passionate that for six years he has been living, eating, and sleeping in his Saturn car, driving across America watching sporting events. He has seen every NFL, NHL, MLB, and NBA team play in its home stadium or arena. He has watched hundreds of horse races, car races, golf tournaments, even Little League games. Dave's passion doesn't cost him as much as you'd think. He eats veggies from a can and sneaks hot dog buns into stadiums where he loads them up with free relish, ketchup, and mustard. He shaves in Wal-Mart bathrooms and showers at truck stops. Dave never pays to park, and he finds the cheapest tickets he can. He eats bananas for breakfast and orders lunch from the McDonald's dollar menu. Dave is no dummy. He has earned four master's degrees but retired after more than thirty years of teaching junior high phys ed. He just loves sports.
Not surprisingly, Dave has an ex-wife and two estranged daughters. His girlfriend teaches school in Japan, not too far from Takeru Kobayashi's house. As far as we know, Dave's relationship with his girlfriend is going fine, but should she tire of his passionate pursuit of sports, Dave says that they won't be together anymore.
Contrast these passions with the passions of those who are living for something that will outlast them. Mother Teresa was passionate about helping others, so much so that she dedicated her life to serving the poorest of the poor in Calcutta. Billy Graham's passion was spreading the simple truth of the Gospel to as many people around the world as he possibly could. Did he fulfill his passion? We think the answer is pretty obvious.
Someone has defined failure as succeeding at something that doesn't really matter. We hope you're passionate about something that matters. Hopefully your passion won't cost you your relationships, your job, your family, or your digestive tract, but throughout history, passion is what has driven people to great things. A lack of passion equals a lack of joy. Without passion, we're all doomed to a life of mediocrity.
And what are we passionate about?
We're passionate about chocolate, but we're more passionate about reminding people of the importance of finding the laughter in life. I (Martha) am passionate about telling others how much God loves us and has a plan for our lives. I (Phil) have told people that the words I want written on my tombstone are these: "He found God's grace too amazing to keep to himself."*** I'd like to spend whatever days I have left telling others of God's amazing and amusing grace, reminding them of our reasons to rejoice, helping them bring joy to life.
And we both love to eat hot dogs at baseball games ... one at a time.
Yet if we celebrate, let it be that he has invaded our lives with purpose.
—Luci Shaw
* We are, too, but no one gives us a trophy for it. [back to text]
† That one doesn't impress us. We're pretty sure we've done that. [back to text]
** As far as we know, these were separate contests on separate days. [back to text]
‡ This had not yet been addressed in the Vehicle Code. [back to text]
*** It sure beats, "See, I told you I was sick," or "Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and no place to go." [back to text]
You Can't Keep a Good Man (or Woman) Down
There are some things in life that just can't help but put a smile on our face, no matter what kind of a mood we happen to be in. Take, for instance, a Mexican mariachi band. Have you ever tried to stay down while listening to the music in a Mexican restaurant? It's impossible. You may have walked in humming "Nobody Knows the Troubles I've Seen," but after a couple choruses of "La Cucaracha," you'll be donning a sombrero and tapping your flatware to the beat.
Have you ever watched a group of preschoolers sing at a Christmas program while their teachers hover over them, praying against disaster? If you can do so without smiling, you have bigger problems than two humorists can fix.
Here are a few other things it is impossible to do and stay feeling down.
- The Hokey Pokey
- Be tickled
- Eat cotton candy
- Wear a clown nose
- Juggle*
- Play with a yo-yo
- Yodel
- Speak pig Latin†
- Hold a puppy
- Chew bubble gum
- Carry a balloon
- Swing on a swing set
- Ride a carousel
- Blow bubbles
- Fly a kite
- Skip
- Listen to banjo music
- Ride a stick horse
- Listen to a polka
- Play the harmonica**
- Help someone else
A man there was, tho' some did count him mad,
The more he cast away, the more he had.
—John Bunyan
* Unless you're severely down, in which case we wouldn't recommend juggling chainsaws. [back to text]
† Though listening to someone else speak pig Latin may be the ticket to send you over the edge. [back to text]
** Phil once had a Sunday school teacher who played the harmonica professionally and carried a beeper—which was a little optimistic of him. [back to text]
Excerpted from:
It's Always Darkest Before the Fridge Door Opens by Martha Bolton and Phil Callaway
Copyright © 2006; ISBN 076420307x
Published by Bethany House Publishers
Used by permission. Unauthorized duplication prohibited.
