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Marriage: Building Real Intimacy

(Paperback)
$7.99 - Online Price

Overview

For a partnership that's close and strong. Want to strengthen your marriage but unsure how to start? Marriage will help you and your spouse draw insight from one another and from the other couples in your group to build the kind of close relationship you've always wanted. Whether you need to stabilize shaky foundations or just want to make a good marriage even better, here's how to *Get the most from you and your partner's different personality traits using a brief, eye-opening self test *Weed out common 'romance busters' that drain the excitement from your marriage *Resolve conflicts quickly using a simple three-step peace process *Prevent daily responsibilities from robbing you of real intimacy . . . and more. Marriage will help you and your mate not only recapture the thrill in your marriage, but also maintain and build upon it to create a satisfying, lasting relationship---the kind God designed you both to enjoy Interactions---a powerful and challenging tool for building deep relationships between you and your group members, and you and God. Interactions is far more than another group Bible study. It's a cutting-edge series designed to help small group participants develop into fully devoted followers of Christ.

Details

  • SKU: 9780310265894
  • UPC: 025986265892
  • SKU10: 0310265894
  • Title: Marriage: Building Real Intimacy
  • Series: Interactions Small Group
  • Qty Remaining Online: 8
  • Publisher: Zondervan Publishing Company
  • Date Published: Jul 2005
  • Pages: 105
  • Illustrated: Yes
  • Weight lbs: 0.37
  • Dimensions: 9.14" L x 5.98" W x 0.31" H
  • Features: Table of Contents, Price on Product, Illustrated
  • Themes: Theometrics | Evangelical; Theometrics | Mainline;
  • Category: STUDY GUIDE
  • Subject: Biblical Studies - General
NOTE: Related content on this page may not be applicable to all formats of this product.

Chapter Excerpt


Chapter One

Session 1

Learning from History THE BIG PICTURE

It was the summer of 1974, and Lynne and I had been married two months. She informed me that the garbage disposal had quit working. I told her to call a repairman.

The war was on!

"What do you mean, call a repairman? Why pay fifty dollars for a job any able-bodied man can do?"

"Well, you don't expect me to do it, do you? I don't know anything about garbage disposals. I'd probably electrocute myself if I touched it. Besides, we're short on butter knives."

"You could do it if you tried. You just don't care enough."

The problem was that Lynne's dad fixed things, her brother fixed things, her uncles fixed things, her cousins fixed things, and so she assumed that all men fixed things. Unless, of course, they weren't interested in what was going on at home. Unless they were too preoccupied with concerns outside the home to devote thirty minutes to household needs.

From my side, I had never had a successful experience with anything mechanical in my life. I knew I would waste hours and probably money if I tried to fix the garbage disposal or anything else. I also believed, as my father had, that the sensible approach was to stick with what I was good at and pay someone else to do what I wasn't good at.

A WIDE ANGLE VIEW

1 Tell a story about a time you and your spouse discovered how differently you approach things.

A BIBLICAL PORTRAIT

Read Genesis 2:21-25 and Ephesians 5:31-33

2 Both of these passages present three critical steps in the marriage process. What does it mean to:

Leave our father and mother

Be united to our spouse

Become one flesh

SHARPENING THE FOCUS

Read Snapshot "The Powers That Shape Us"

THE POWERS THAT SHAPE US

Lynne and I now realize that who our fathers and mothers were, how they related, and how our families operated played a major role in shaping us as individuals. This is true for everyone. Two decades spent in close proximity with a single group of people can't help but shape our personal identities. We are who we are largely because of the experiences we have enjoyed-or endured-within the context of our unique family units.

Family dynamics determine our self-esteem and self-confidence. Family values shape our character. Family experiences influence our concepts of how marriage should be structured and how children should be raised, of how we should view work, recreation, education, money, politics, and religion. We all look at our families and decide either to repeat the pattern if our experience was basically positive, or try to create an opposite situation if our experience was basically negative. Either way, we are profoundly affected by the attitudes and actions of our families.

3 How did your parents handle:

Conflict

Expression of emotions

Celebration of special occasions such as birthdays, holidays .

Family vacations

Discipline of children

4 Cite at least one difference in your personalities that can be traced directly back to your family backgrounds. How has this become an issue in your marriage, and how are you seeking to deal with it?

5 What aspects of your parents' relationship do you respect and want to see imitated in your own marriage?

What are you doing to develop these in your relationship?

Read Snapshot "No One's Perfect"

NO ONE'S PERFECT

Sadly, there are more to family memories than highlights. In addition to being one of the greatest determiners of personal identity, the family is also one of the greatest causes of personal pain. No one grows up pain free. The apostle Paul tells us that no one can live a totally righteous life (Rom. 3:23), and that includes parents. There is no perfect mom. No perfect dad. We are all products of parents who were sinners. They too were products of parents who were sinners, just as our children will be. We must realize that imperfect parents always cause some degree of pain to their children. The baton that is passed from one generation to the next is always at least a little disfigured, a little scarred.

6 What is one characteristic that marked your parents' relationship that you want to avoid in your marriage?

What would it require for you to confront and avoid these same patterns?

7 How could you creatively thank or affirm your parents for the positive ways they have impacted your life?

PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE PICTURE

Looking Back Together

Take time in the coming week to talk with your spouse about an incident in your past where one or both of your parents did something that wounded you. Discuss the following questions:

Could it have been avoided?

How have you recovered?

Are there steps you need to take to continue the healing process?

How do you plan to keep from repeating the same mistake inyour family life?

Take time to pray for healing in the heart of your spouse and commit to continue praying for them in the days and weeks to come. Also, take specific steps toward continuing the healing process in your lives.

Research Project

Call or meet with one of your in-laws and ask them how they feel their life has impacted your spouse. Give them freedom to talk about their positive and negative influence. Follow this up by telling your spouse what you learned. Take time to affirm your in-laws, honoring them as people who matter to you and to God.

(Continues.)

Reviews

Also in "Interactions Small Group" Series

Excellent Living: Giving God Your Best [Paperback] (Dec 2009) $7.99
Influence: Maximizing Your Impact for God [Paperback] (Dec 2009) $7.99
Jesus: Seeing Him More Clearly [Paperback] (Jul 2005) $7.99
Prayer: Opening Your Heart to God [Paperback] (Jul 2005) $7.99
Reaching Out: Sharing God's Love Naturally [Paperback] (Jul 2005) $7.99

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