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Mistake It Like a Man: An Imperfect Guy's Guide to Romance, Kids, and Secret Service Motorcades

(Paperback - Aug 2006)
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Overview

Real Men Don't Get Embarrassed.We Merely Appear Sunburned
Ever had your doctor give you valuable diet and exercise advice, then gone out for a cheeseburger and fries to celebrate the fact that you're not dead yet? Do your teens flee the room in dismay when you try to use their jargon to prove that you're still "groovy"? Have you ever been smitten by romance, pulled your wife close to you, and asked her to give you one good reason you should not make passionate love to her at that very moment, only to have her remind you that you are standing in the grocery aisle? Dave Meurer has been through it all. And he's got a tale or two (fifty, actually, in "Mistake It Like a Man" ) that will shed some light, albeit fluorescent, on all kinds of common manly experiences.
"Dave Meurer vividly illustrates the humor that is American family life. But be warned: Amid the chuckles, he masterfully weaves some serious food for thought."
"-Bill Shepson, Editorial Director, Advance magazine "
"Dave Meurer has done it again. He's taken the commonplace and turned it into high comedy. He has the ability to make you giggle gleefully while meditating meaningfully on the spiritual issues that matter most."
"-Ellie Kay, Author, speaker, and " America's Family Financial Expert" "
Story Behind the Book
"Humor is the secret weapon of the nonfiction writer. It is an attempt to say important things in a special way that regular writers aren't getting said in a regular way--or if they are, it's so regular that no one is reading it."
"--William Zinsser "
"I see my humor writing as guerrilla warfare for the kingdom of God . People let their defenses down when they're laughing, and that's when I can make some serious points about love, grace, conflict resolution, male/female differences, raising kids, and work--all in a nonthreatening way. Even 'nonreading' guys read my books, because everyone wants and needs to laugh."
"-- Dave Meurer"

Details

  • SKU: 9781590527443
  • SKU10: 1590527445
  • Title: Mistake It Like a Man: An Imperfect Guy's Guide to Romance, Kids, and Secret Service Motorcades
  • Qty Remaining Online: 100
  • Publisher: Multnomah Books
  • Date Published: Aug 2006
  • Pages: 204
  • Weight lbs: 0.47
  • Dimensions: 8.26" L x 5.28" W x 0.57" H
  • Features: Table of Contents, Price on Product
  • Themes: Theometrics | Evangelical;
  • Category: MEN
  • Subject: Form - Essays

Chapter Excerpt


Chapter One

It's About Time

In an effort to more efficiently utilize my time, I recently purchased a wireless Bluetooth earpiece that links to my cell phone, thus enabling me to walk down the street conducting "hands-free" conversations while also appearing to suffer from delusions.

Not only does this tiny earpiece increase my productivity, but as an added bonus, complete strangers sometimes stuff a few dollars in my hand and even give me part of their sandwich.

I love this gadget. Sadly, my wife Dale couldn't immediately see the enormous benefits of my new device.

"What's that ridiculous-looking thing stuck on the side of your head, and why is it flashing a blue light? You look like a cyborg," she said, in a manner indicating I needed to reconsider my plans to buy her a matching Bluetooth for her birthday.

"It's a state-of-the-art wireless communication device, my love. Not only can I drive more safely, but I can continue my 'hands-free' conversation anywhere I would normally waste time-the store, the gas station, weddings, you name it. No more unproductive down time for the newly wired me!"

She rolled her eyes-an action which, curiously, often accompanies the announcement of my latest great idea.

"Dave, you already carry around that irritating Blackberry e-mail thing that's constantly buzzing on your belt. Do you have to be working all the time? I can't believe you actually felt compelled to read an e-mail message the last time we went out to dinner. You're so type-A. What you call 'unproductive time' is what everyone else calls 'the rest of your life when you aren't at work.' I don't want all these 'productivity' objects to crowd out the important down time we need. Even Jesus took time out."

I would have offered her some reassuring words, but in the middle of her comments a call had come in on my Bluetooth, so I caught only part of what she said.

you'd think women would be more understanding

"That sounds fine, Darin. Just make sure you send me a hard copy," I replied, making hand motions to Dale so she would understand I was on the phone. She frowned at me, but for crying out loud, a guy can't have two completely different conversations at the same time. You'd think women would be more understanding.

"Okay," I told her at last. "I'm off the phone now. What were you saying?"

"Dave, if you're going to add that thing to your mix of electronic debris, just make sure you don't use it around me. Don't use it in the house. Never, ever take it on a walk with me. When you're with me, you need to be with me."

"Okay, okay," I agreed, suddenly realizing this was a big deal to her.

Regrettably, I tend to be forgetful. A few days later I walked in the house still chatting to the Bluetooth as I wrapped up a call. Dale heaved a big sigh. Inasmuch as we had a date to go out to dinner that night, I feared my little slip-up didn't set a particularly positive tone for the evening.

But Dale was unexpectedly understanding.

"Dave, I've been thinking it over. I've decided you're right. We have too much unproductive time, and it's robbing us of the ability to accomplish important tasks."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh yes," she replied. "For instance, we fritter away far too much time on romance. We could be sending urgent e-mails, and you could be having even more talks on your blinking little earpiece. I was thinking we should start scheduling our intimate sessions. What's Thanksgiving week looking like for you?"

"This is June!" I yelped.

"I was thinking perhaps sometime in the Fall, as long as nothing else crops up," she mused, flipping through her planner, which had way too many dates marked with a big black X.

"You know," I replied, biting my lip, "I was just thinking I've been too busy lately. All work and no play makes Dave a dull and obnoxious and very repentant boy who has learned a valuable lesson from the dear wife God has given him, because God understands that without your calming influence I become a frantic and maniacal dolt."

When God wants to get my attention, He never calls me on my Bluetooth. But He often speaks to me through my wife.

(Continues.)

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