Chapter One
His Name Is
JealousFor you shall worship no other god, for the Lord,
whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
Exodus 34:14
A few days after his marriage, a gregarious young husband
decided to demonstrate his love for his bride by taking her
out to an elegant restaurant. When they arrived, the maître
d' escorted them to a special table and seated them.
Soon the waitress arrived-a bright, attractive young
woman. The husband smiled up at her with obvious
delight. He noticed her name on her uniform, and used it
to engage her in a few moments of spirited conversation.
Then he gave her their order for dinner.
As the waitress walked away, the happy husband
turned his eyes back to his wife . and was startled by the
change in her countenance. She looked hurt and grieved.
"Honey," he said, "what's wrong?"
"I saw how your eyes lit up when you looked at that
waitress. That hurt me!"
He was confused. "Hurt you? Why should that hurt
you? I was only trying to be friendly. Hey, that's my nature.
I'm outgoing. I enjoy people."
This distinction did little to comfort his distressed wife.
Hadn't he just vowed that "forsaking all others" he would
cling to her and be devoted to her? Since their wedding, she
had already noticed her husband's eyes brighten up for
other women on several occasions-but hadn't said
anything until that evening in the restaurant.
Happily, this story has a good ending. The new
husband quickly learned his lesson, trained his eyes, and
thereafter treated other women in a polite and businesslike
way. His eyes still light up-but only when his bride walks
into the room. They've gone on to develop a happy and
successful marriage.
When I first heard this story, when I heard this young
wife explain how hurt and offended she had been with her
husband's all-too-evident delight in another woman, I
thought to myself, This lady has a problem with jealousy.
In my view, it was her problem.
She was obviously overly sensitive, and probably feared
being displaced by some other woman. Jealousy, I had
always reasoned, was an issue with the one who had it-and
he or she needed to work it through.
Just last September, however, I was in a counseling situation
that caused me to recall this event . and what transpired
on that day changed my life.
That young woman's statement suddenly intruded
again into my thoughts; I saw how your eyes lit up when you
looked at that waitress! In that moment, I saw what I had not
seen before: the powerful spiritual significance of those
words.
That couple was in a covenant relationship, and in
such a union there can be no tolerance of any competing
affection. In the wedding ceremony, they both vowed
before God that they would cherish each other and love
each other with all their hearts.
In this case, the jealousy was warranted. She was right
to be jealous. She wanted his eyes. She wanted his heart-his
whole heart. And because of their vows, she had every
right to expect these things.
Suddenly the words of Scripture leaped into my
mind-and stunned me with a whole new meaning.
"For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God."
Exodus 20:5
It was one of those pivotal moments when the Spirit of
God seems to pull back the curtain, revealing a major truth
that was there all along, yet hidden from view. I pondered
the meaning of those strong words in Exodus. In what sense
was God jealous? Was He only jealous for the nation of
Israel-or was He jealous for me, too? What competing
affections were there in my own life-words or thoughts or
actions-that caused the Almighty Sovereign of the universe
to feel the pain of jealousy?
Just as in the case of the jealous bride in that restaurant,
God watches the eyes of my heart. He sees whenever my
eyes brighten up at some competing affection. His Holy
Spirit is grieved by my breach of loyalty. And if I persist in
my divided allegiances, I will experience serious conflict in
my life, just as that husband and wife experienced on what
was supposed to be a joyful evening together.
Someone might comment, "What does the great,
omnipotent God care about one of His children being distracted
by some passing affection? Surely He has more
important things to do than keep track of our small indiscretions
or wandering inclinations!"
If we think such thoughts, it is only because we underestimate
His love-and His holiness. Scripture shows us
that He certainly does notice the little things-the "small"
idolatries we so quickly rationalize away. In the book of
Jeremiah, the Lord talks to the prophet about a practice
among some of the women of Judah. They had been baking
little cakes in their ovens-cakes formed in the shape of
an idol known as "the queen of heaven" (Jeremiah 44:19).
They were just little flat cakes. We might even stretch
the point just a bit and call them cookies. And with all that
was going on in the world . with wars and rumors of
wars . with all the deliberations of kings and princes and
generals . God was concerned about women baking cookies?
Yes, He was. Because He knew their hearts. He saw the
secret idolatries behind their "innocent" activity. And this is
what He said about it:
"Do you not see what they do in the cities of Judah
and in the streets of Jerusalem? The children
gather wood, the fathers kindle the fire, and the
women knead dough, to make cakes for the queen
of heaven; and they pour out drink offerings to
other gods, that they may provoke Me to anger."
Jeremiah 7:17-18
Those little cakes aroused the jealousy of God, stirring
His anger. He noticed . and He was grieved. God clearly
states His demand for our total loyalty of love in the first
and greatest command: "And you shall love the Lord your
God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your
mind, and with all your strength" (Mark 12:30).
After loving the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind,
and strength, there won't be any affection left over for other
delights that compete with God.
During that time back in September when the Lord
opened my eyes to these things, other Scriptures began to
come to mind. I began to ponder the very nature of God.
He has many names and titles. One of them, however, isn't
much discussed these days. You don't hear of it being made
into songs, written in calligraphy on wall plaques, or
engraved on Christian jewelry.
And yet, maybe it should be.
It is Qanna'.
"Jealous."
In the Ten Commandments He declares, "For I, the
Lord your God, am a jealous God" (Exodus 20:5). Several
chapters later He states, "The Lord, whose name is Jealous,
is a jealous God" (Exodus 34:14). Joshua declared, "He is a
holy God. He is a jealous God" (Joshua 24:19).
I'd been aware of such verses, of course, for many years.
I'd just assumed they described God's Old Testament relationship
with Israel-in a time long ago and a place far
away. In the New Testament, I imagined, He became a loving
and merciful God who somehow overlooks our competing
affections.
The more I considered, however, the more uncomfortable
I became with those conclusions. I realized that such
thoughts flew in the face of what God Himself declared in
Malachi 3:6: "For I am the Lord, I do not change."
In other words, He was just as loving and merciful in
the Old Testament as He is in the New Testament. And He
is just as insistent on our total affection and loyalty in the
New Testament as He was of His own nation in the Old
Testament.
A sense of awe swept over me as I realized that God was
aware of every delight, friendship, or affection that was in
competition with His character and will for my life. And
He was not only aware, but He also cared very deeply about
each and every one. To entertain these affections-to return
to them and cultivate them in quiet moments of the day or
night-was to stir up His jealousy and actually grieve His
Holy Spirit, bringing sorrow and conflict into my own life
and relationships.
I found myself pleading with God for a fresh measure
of His grace and discernment.
If I was making my Lord jealous, I wanted to put an
end to it.
Points to Ponder
Are there areas in your life that compete for the affection
and loyalty that belong to God alone? Did you ever think
of Him as being jealous of those affections of yours? Take
these matters to Him in prayer and ask Him to reveal the
secrets of your heart.
Chapter Two
Loving God
with All Our
HeartMy son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways.
Proverbs 23:26
One day as a teenager I came across a statement that riveted
my attention. It was so intriguing to me that I turned it
over and over in my mind for days, pondering its application
to my own life.
Now, in retrospect, it seems prophetic.
Be careful what you want when you are fifteen,
you will have it when you are thirty. Be careful
what you want when you are thirty, you will have
it when you are sixty.
When I was fifteen I wanted more than anything to be
effective in working with fellow teenagers. When I was
thirty, I longed to share what I had learned about young
people with a wider audience. It was the great longing of
my heart, and God in His grace has fulfilled it.
When we set our heart on something, we begin to fill
our eyes and our attention with those things that directly
relate to that strong, inner focus. No wonder Scripture
warns: "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from
it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23, NASB). Other priorities,
other issues, other events in life which may have
great significance to many people escape our notice. Why?
Because they don't line up with our goals. They don't match
up with the passion of our hearts.
Imagine an athlete, a young man who has been training
for years to qualify for the Olympics as a speed skater.
Every day of his life he's up before dawn, preparing his body
and mind for the competition that fills his waking
thoughts. As the week of the Olympic trials finally draws
near, how much time does he devote to thinking about
other pursuits and interests? He doesn't have time for them!
They're distractions! He is bringing all his energies to bear
on one goal: achieving his dream of qualifying for the
Olympics.
So it is with loving God as Scripture commands. It is
not a casual, halfhearted endeavor. Jesus Himself said we are
to love the Lord our God
• with all of our heart,
• with all of our soul,
• with all of our mind, and
• with all of our strength.
Why is this so important? Because our heart is the seat
of our affections, and what we love with our heart shapes the
goals and direction of our entire life. That process, whether
we realize it or not, is at work in our lives this very day.
When we become distracted from that pursuit . when
we begin to take our eyes off of that goal . when we
become immersed in and enchanted by other affections,
other "lovers," God is jealous. And rightly so. He is the One
who redeemed us, purchasing us at a great and terrible
price.
One of my earliest recollections as a young believer is
working on projects in the recreation room in my home-and
repeating a song over and over.
Into my heart, into my heart;
come into my heart, Lord Jesus.
Come in today. Come in to stay.
Come into my heart, Lord Jesus.
Now I knew as a young believer that the Lord was
already in my heart-and that He was certainly there to
stay. What I was experiencing, however, was a deeper longing
for His presence. I wanted to sense His nearness and
hear His voice. I wanted to know Him for myself, not just
as a child of a Christian family or a member of an active
church. It was like a personal response to our Lord's invitation
to the Church of Laodicea, "Behold, I stand at the
door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the
door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with
Me" (Revelation 3:20).
A number of years ago, I was conducting a counseling
seminar for about eight hundred young people at our
Indianapolis training center. During that week of training,
I received a surprise invitation to meet with the governor of
Indiana. It was a special opportunity, but it required that I
leave one of the sessions half an hour early.
When several students learned about this, they pleaded
with me to let a sixteen-year-old girl named Christiana give
her testimony. With that strong recommendation, I introduced
her to the young people and left for my meeting.
As soon as I returned to the auditorium, I sensed something
had happened. A marvelous spirit of revival permeated
the seminar. There were tears of repentance and joy. I
asked what had happened and all they could say was, "We
want to love Jesus the way Christiana loves Him."
Christiana expressed her love for the Lord the way
most girls express their love for a boyfriend.
She talked about the things He likes.
She boasted about the things He has done.
She shared special things He told her from the Word.
She pointed out mementos of special events with Him
and explained the many ways He gave her attention.
Christiana loved the Lord with all her heart . and
everyone in the auditorium that day could see it and
sense it.
Seek Me with All Your Heart
"You will seek Me and find Me, when you search
for Me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:13
Many have sought the Lord but not found Him because
they failed to seek Him with their whole heart.
The challenge of seeking God with our whole heart is
made complicated by the truth of Jeremiah 17:9, "The
heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked;
who can know it?"
This verse describes the problem: deceit that sends its
roots to the very core of our being.
God warns that we have the capacity to hide wrong
desires in our heart-to tuck them away in cracks and
crevices and behind false panels and hidden doors, secretly
hoping that we may one day pull them out and fulfill them.
And Satan, perhaps knowing where they are hidden, often
provides the perfect opportunities to do just that. People
may be shocked when we fall for some illicit desire that
seems so out of character, and we too may grieve over the
consequences of our own actions. Yet it is the very thing we
secretly wanted to do all along. The desire was imbedded in
our hearts, privately and covertly coddled and nourished for
years, waiting for its opportunity.
The only answer to this dilemma is radical surgery.
Continues.