Chapter One
Healthy Youth Ministries
Have Spiritually Healthy LeadersMy friend Ted read this first chapter and said, "Doug, you
can't start your book this way; there aren't enough program
ideas." My friend Lissa, on the other hand, read the same chapter
and said, "Powerful beginning! Every youth worker should
be required to read this material before ever starting youth ministry."
Why the difference in responses?
Ted is twenty-two years old and just starting out in youth
ministry. He believes a hyped-up, flashy youth ministry with slick
logos, fancy calendars, big programs, and creative ideas paves the
route to a healthy youth ministry.
Lissa is a forty-two-year-old, experienced youth worker who
once walked in Ted's shoes. She understands the seduction of an
enticing youth ministry idea. For several years she placed hype
above health in her leadership. Youth ministry ideas were more
important than intimacy with God. Programs out-prioritized
prayer. She allowed her heart to become hard and later described
herself as a spiritual liar rather than a spiritual leader.
Lissa is not alone. I also walked down that path. I, too, was
always looking for creative ideas and fancy programs to make my
youth ministry flashy. I've since learned, as has Lissa, that a healthy
youth ministry doesn't begin with ideas, but with spiritual leaders.
When a church (or youth ministry point person) primarily
values hype, there is little need for spiritual leadership. A non-Christian
could become a "successful" youth worker at that kind
of church by increasing activities, launching new ideas, and boosting
attendance. With a little investigation, you probably wouldn't
find any measurable difference between this type of youth ministry
and a local non-Christian service club. Both use hype to attract.
This first chapter challenges you (and your church and youth
ministry team) to develop a youth ministry in which the leaders
rely on God's power. This is the essential and foundational ingredient
for building a spiritual legacy of long-term health. In the
long run, health is more attractive than hype.
My Journey from Hype to Health
I started youth ministry in 1979 as a volunteer for the junior
high ministry at my home church. I loved it! Although I had no
idea what I was doing, I knew God was using me and my energy
to connect with students and care for them. Within my first year
the junior high director left our church and I became the point
person by default. (I was the only other volunteer!) One year later
I still didn't know what I was doing, but I was sure busy doing
it. I had our junior high group participating in everything I could
find. If a flyer came to our church promoting an activity for junior
high students, we went. I'd get a sample curriculum from a conference
I attended and use it for Sunday school as soon as I
returned. I was too busy and having too much fun to recognize
or admit that I really had no idea how to build a healthy youth
ministry or even that I was supposed to build anything. The ministry
was nothing more than adolescent baby-sitting with some
occasional Bible study. But since the students were entertained
and attendance was up, everyone seemed to think we were a
healthy youth ministry.
After being a volunteer for two years, I was offered a paid
youth ministry position in 1981 as an intern with an established
youth ministry professional. I was thrilled to get paid to do what
I loved. I jumped at the opportunity and continued to do more
youth ministry while I finished college and seminary. My life
never slowed down. In addition to heavy school loads, I coached
school teams for better access to the local campus. I planned
camps, spoke to any group that would listen, and went to every
youth ministry training available. My life was youth ministry, and
I had become an expert at going, doing, and achieving.
In 1985 my youth ministry mentor handed me the leadership
of what was considered to be a successful youth ministry. While I
was thrilled, I was also driven by the need to prove I could "be the
man." This pushed me to do more and to look for the bigger and
better in everything I did (hype). I was out of the house almost every
night of the week. While all of the activities and excitement assured
that no one questioned my work ethic, I questioned everything.
In the midst of all that was happening, I couldn't shake the emptiness
of all I was doing. I was distant from the Lord and my heart
was slowly hardening. No one knew of my weakening disciplines
because everything looked good on the outside. I could "talk the
game" as it related to my spirituality. I had become the poster child
for Proverbs 26:23: "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just
as a pretty glaze covers a common clay pot" (NLT).
As my inner life was hardening, my outer world of youth
ministry was beginning to show cracks. Three main problems
haunted me and left me continually frustrated: I couldn't create
attractive programs like those of other churches, I wasn't sure that
I was the right person for youth ministry, and I could never do
enough to please everyone.
I was too arrogant to think these problems would get the best
of me and too insecure to ask for help. But within a year of my
new pastoral reign, God used these looming problems to soften
my heart and teach me what I desperately needed to know if I was
going to continue in the ministry. I wish I could have learned
these lessons from a book, but to be honest, I don't think I would
have slowed down long enough to learn from others even if they
had written about it.
Instead, I was driven to an authentic dependence on the
power of God to change my life and impact my youth ministry.
Problem 1: I Couldn't Create Attractive Programs
Like Those of Other Churches
In my continual search for new ideas, the ultimate catch
became the program that would please parents, bring students out
in droves, and help students grow spiritually. I needed a power-house
program that would move us from the minors to the
majors. Not knowing any better, I studied the big league youth
ministries and hoped that what they were doing would provide
my answer. I tried to implement their programs into my youth
ministry setting, but I didn't understand that there were too many
variables to be copied and taken into my youth ministry context.
I was too immature to look for transferable principles that
might help. Instead, I wanted an instant program to bring quick
success. What I learned was that copying someone else's program
always led to failure. Some program ideas worked for a while,
but they didn't have the same strength in my setting that they had
in the other churches.
Copying someone else's program
always led to failure
I thought that if youth ministry was about designing programs
and I couldn't get programs to work, then maybe I
shouldn't do youth ministry. I was depending on other ministries
to provide my answers instead of depending on God to show me
his plan for a healthy ministry. I was always comparing myself
to other youth workers who made incredible programming appear
so simple. My inability to create superb programs was fueled by
my comparisons, and my self-doubt skyrocketed. I became convinced
that I didn't have the knowledge and skills to do youth
ministry well.
Problem 2: Perhaps I Wasn't the Right Person
for Youth Ministry
During my first years in youth ministry, I remember standing
in front of junior high students and basking in their looks of
anticipation. I was young, fun, energetic, and well-liked. Their
faces said, "This is going to be good." But only a few years later,
when things weren't going as well, I saw a different look-one
that said, "This better be good." Because I lacked knowledge and
skills, I thought the students didn't like me anymore. Their enthusiasm
waned, attendance dropped, volunteers found other church
ministries to which they could devote their time, and our programs
changed every time I spied on another youth ministry. Parents
as well as church elders questioned what was happening, and
I accepted all the problems as my fault. I constantly looked over
my shoulder to see if other people were thinking what I was thinking-that
maybe I wasn't the right person for youth ministry
despite my having the necessary goods.
Even though I worked exhausting hours, the job wasn't getting
done the way everyone seemed to want. Previously unspoken
expectations surfaced, and they fueled my workaholic personality
to fix everything, even though I couldn't specifically identify
the problems. My desire for doing ministry had long moved from
pleasing God to appeasing people. I wanted to be liked by everyone,
and that desire moved me to my third major problem.
Problem 3: I Could Never Do Enough to Please Everyone
The critical breaking moment came in the wake of an
attempt to boost sagging attendance numbers. I organized an
evangelistic camp with the requirement that the only way students
could attend was if they brought an unchurched friend. To my
amazement, our students responded to the challenge. The power
of God moved that weekend, and the majority of the unchurched
students returned from camp with a new and meaningful relationship
with Jesus Christ. It was the greatest camp I had ever
experienced.
On the Monday following camp, I went into the church
office eager to share the news with the church staff and hear the
praise reports that I anticipated had been coming in all morning.
As I approached the church office, my insecurity and pride
mixed to create a fantasy in which I envisioned the staff awaiting
my arrival and lining the entrance for congratulations and a
chorus of "How Great Thou Art."
My fantasy bubble popped when the church administrator
immediately asked, "Did you know our megaphone was busted
this weekend and the church vans weren't returned to their proper
parking spots?" I didn't know how to respond. I was speechless
(which was a small miracle). This wasn't the greeting I had
expected. In my state of shock, I stuttered something about
reparking the vans and buying a new megaphone. Then I hung
my head and walked to my office. As I sat at my desk, I thought,
"Does resignation have one s or two?" Just then I received a phone
call from a student's mother. I assumed that she was calling to
thank me for her son's life-changing weekend. Instead, she said,
"Doug, I have some problems with your leadership at camp this
weekend." She went on to explain that the only story she had
heard from her son was how the boys were lying around in their
underwear one night passing gas on lit matches and laughing at
the appearance of flames. She continued to chastise me for how
irresponsible and dangerous that was-saying the boys could
actually explode. (All I could think of was what a great video that
would make!) I guess she thought it was one of our planned events
as opposed to a random act of teenage silliness. Either way, I
became the object of her anger.
I had been in the office for ten minutes, and already I had had
two negative conversations regarding one of my best weekends of
ministry. I left the office immediately. As I drove home, I couldn't
contain my emotions and began to weep (not the watery-eye cry,
but the body-convulsing cry). I thought about all of the time,
energy, and emotion that had gone into the weekend. I mentally
replayed the intense conversations, the numerous tough leadership
decisions, and the faces of the many students who had become
excited about Christ. In tears, I arrogantly concluded that after
all of the work I had done this treatment was undeserved.
It was at this point, sitting in my car on the side of the road,
that I felt the supernatural presence of God. I wish I could say there
was an audible instruction; there wasn't. But I felt God impress on
my heart as I had never experienced before. I sensed God saying,
"Doug, you'll never be able to do enough to please everyone. Focus
on me. Rest in me. Abide in me. When your heart is turned toward
me, we can work together and do some good things." That was
it. That was the moment that revolutionized my ministry! My
three youth ministry problems were solved by this one soul-shaking
experience. The answer was not in programs or in feeling liked
or in pleasing everyone. The answer was in becoming the right person
for youth ministry. I had left God out of the equation and had
been doing youth ministry, using my own power. My heart had
become hard, and I was spending all my time doing the work of
God without being a man of God.
I was spending all my time doing the work
of God without being a person of God.
Not only did God work in the lives of students through that
camp, but he also used it to do his work in me. My focus and
dependence had been foolishly centered on my own ability to per-form
(to do). Now I understood that if I stayed dependent and
focused on God, he would empower me to be his servant and thus
accomplish his purposes in my ministry.
How Does One Become a Youth Worker
Who Depends on God?
Many youth workers I talk to can relate to feeling inadequate
about their gifts, their call into youth ministry, and their
performance as leaders. Hope for these struggles can be found by
focusing on God and his Word. The solution to my three problems
changed my life and ministry, and drives me to increase my
dependence on God's power and to develop my abilities as a spiritual
leader.
Answer 1: Recognize God's Power
Through Personal Humility
When my pride pushed me to create extravagant programs,
God taught me humility. Through my broken-heart experience,
I realized that, ultimately, programs don't work-God works.
God doesn't need a program in order to work. He doesn't even
need me. This realization brought humility when I finally admitted
my very small part in God's work. When good things happen
I need to recognize that they happen because of God's power
and not my own.
God doesn't need a program in order
to work. He doesn't even need me
If you are someone who soaks up credit for success, humility
may be a foreign quality. When you take credit for success,
it is easy to lose sight of God's power. I never plan to take credit
for God's work, but I have often found myself making a subtle
shift in thought from the youth ministry being God's work to it
being a result of my skills and efforts. I hate to admit it, but there
have been many times when I've patted myself on the back when
God deserved the credit. Sadly, I haven't taken the blame when
things were going bad. Almost without exception, when things
were rough I pleaded for God to strengthen "his" work.
Continues.
Chapter One
Healthy Youth Ministries
Have Spiritually Healthy LeadersMy friend Ted read this first chapter and said, "Doug, you
can't start your book this way; there aren't enough program
ideas." My friend Lissa, on the other hand, read the same chapter
and said, "Powerful beginning! Every youth worker should
be required to read this material before ever starting youth ministry."
Why the difference in responses?
Ted is twenty-two years old and just starting out in youth
ministry. He believes a hyped-up, flashy youth ministry with slick
logos, fancy calendars, big programs, and creative ideas paves the
route to a healthy youth ministry.
Lissa is a forty-two-year-old, experienced youth worker who
once walked in Ted's shoes. She understands the seduction of an
enticing youth ministry idea. For several years she placed hype
above health in her leadership. Youth ministry ideas were more
important than intimacy with God. Programs out-prioritized
prayer. She allowed her heart to become hard and later described
herself as a spiritual liar rather than a spiritual leader.
Lissa is not alone. I also walked down that path. I, too, was
always looking for creative ideas and fancy programs to make my
youth ministry flashy. I've since learned, as has Lissa, that a healthy
youth ministry doesn't begin with ideas, but with spiritual leaders.
When a church (or youth ministry point person) primarily
values hype, there is little need for spiritual leadership. A non-Christian
could become a "successful" youth worker at that kind
of church by increasing activities, launching new ideas, and boosting
attendance. With a little investigation, you probably wouldn't
find any measurable difference between this type of youth ministry
and a local non-Christian service club. Both use hype to attract.
This first chapter challenges you (and your church and youth
ministry team) to develop a youth ministry in which the leaders
rely on God's power. This is the essential and foundational ingredient
for building a spiritual legacy of long-term health. In the
long run, health is more attractive than hype.
My Journey from Hype to Health
I started youth ministry in 1979 as a volunteer for the junior
high ministry at my home church. I loved it! Although I had no
idea what I was doing, I knew God was using me and my energy
to connect with students and care for them. Within my first year
the junior high director left our church and I became the point
person by default. (I was the only other volunteer!) One year later
I still didn't know what I was doing, but I was sure busy doing
it. I had our junior high group participating in everything I could
find. If a flyer came to our church promoting an activity for junior
high students, we went. I'd get a sample curriculum from a conference
I attended and use it for Sunday school as soon as I
returned. I was too busy and having too much fun to recognize
or admit that I really had no idea how to build a healthy youth
ministry or even that I was supposed to build anything. The ministry
was nothing more than adolescent baby-sitting with some
occasional Bible study. But since the students were entertained
and attendance was up, everyone seemed to think we were a
healthy youth ministry.
After being a volunteer for two years, I was offered a paid
youth ministry position in 1981 as an intern with an established
youth ministry professional. I was thrilled to get paid to do what
I loved. I jumped at the opportunity and continued to do more
youth ministry while I finished college and seminary. My life
never slowed down. In addition to heavy school loads, I coached
school teams for better access to the local campus. I planned
camps, spoke to any group that would listen, and went to every
youth ministry training available. My life was youth ministry, and
I had become an expert at going, doing, and achieving.
In 1985 my youth ministry mentor handed me the leadership
of what was considered to be a successful youth ministry. While I
was thrilled, I was also driven by the need to prove I could "be the
man." This pushed me to do more and to look for the bigger and
better in everything I did (hype). I was out of the house almost every
night of the week. While all of the activities and excitement assured
that no one questioned my work ethic, I questioned everything.
In the midst of all that was happening, I couldn't shake the emptiness
of all I was doing. I was distant from the Lord and my heart
was slowly hardening. No one knew of my weakening disciplines
because everything looked good on the outside. I could "talk the
game" as it related to my spirituality. I had become the poster child
for Proverbs 26:23: "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just
as a pretty glaze covers a common clay pot" (NLT).
As my inner life was hardening, my outer world of youth
ministry was beginning to show cracks. Three main problems
haunted me and left me continually frustrated: I couldn't create
attractive programs like those of other churches, I wasn't sure that
I was the right person for youth ministry, and I could never do
enough to please everyone.
I was too arrogant to think these problems would get the best
of me and too insecure to ask for help. But within a year of my
new pastoral reign, God used these looming problems to soften
my heart and teach me what I desperately needed to know if I was
going to continue in the ministry. I wish I could have learned
these lessons from a book, but to be honest, I don't think I would
have slowed down long enough to learn from others even if they
had written about it.
Instead, I was driven to an authentic dependence on the
power of God to change my life and impact my youth ministry.
Problem 1: I Couldn't Create Attractive Programs
Like Those of Other Churches
In my continual search for new ideas, the ultimate catch
became the program that would please parents, bring students out
in droves, and help students grow spiritually. I needed a power-house
program that would move us from the minors to the
majors. Not knowing any better, I studied the big league youth
ministries and hoped that what they were doing would provide
my answer. I tried to implement their programs into my youth
ministry setting, but I didn't understand that there were too many
variables to be copied and taken into my youth ministry context.
I was too immature to look for transferable principles that
might help. Instead, I wanted an instant program to bring quick
success. What I learned was that copying someone else's program
always led to failure. Some program ideas worked for a while,
but they didn't have the same strength in my setting that they had
in the other churches.
Copying someone else's program
always led to failure
I thought that if youth ministry was about designing programs
and I couldn't get programs to work, then maybe I
shouldn't do youth ministry. I was depending on other ministries
to provide my answers instead of depending on God to show me
his plan for a healthy ministry. I was always comparing myself
to other youth workers who made incredible programming appear
so simple. My inability to create superb programs was fueled by
my comparisons, and my self-doubt skyrocketed. I became convinced
that I didn't have the knowledge and skills to do youth
ministry well.
Problem 2: Perhaps I Wasn't the Right Person
for Youth Ministry
During my first years in youth ministry, I remember standing
in front of junior high students and basking in their looks of
anticipation. I was young, fun, energetic, and well-liked. Their
faces said, "This is going to be good." But only a few years later,
when things weren't going as well, I saw a different look-one
that said, "This better be good." Because I lacked knowledge and
skills, I thought the students didn't like me anymore. Their enthusiasm
waned, attendance dropped, volunteers found other church
ministries to which they could devote their time, and our programs
changed every time I spied on another youth ministry. Parents
as well as church elders questioned what was happening, and
I accepted all the problems as my fault. I constantly looked over
my shoulder to see if other people were thinking what I was thinking-that
maybe I wasn't the right person for youth ministry
despite my having the necessary goods.
Even though I worked exhausting hours, the job wasn't getting
done the way everyone seemed to want. Previously unspoken
expectations surfaced, and they fueled my workaholic personality
to fix everything, even though I couldn't specifically identify
the problems. My desire for doing ministry had long moved from
pleasing God to appeasing people. I wanted to be liked by everyone,
and that desire moved me to my third major problem.
Problem 3: I Could Never Do Enough to Please Everyone
The critical breaking moment came in the wake of an
attempt to boost sagging attendance numbers. I organized an
evangelistic camp with the requirement that the only way students
could attend was if they brought an unchurched friend. To my
amazement, our students responded to the challenge. The power
of God moved that weekend, and the majority of the unchurched
students returned from camp with a new and meaningful relationship
with Jesus Christ. It was the greatest camp I had ever
experienced.
On the Monday following camp, I went into the church
office eager to share the news with the church staff and hear the
praise reports that I anticipated had been coming in all morning.
As I approached the church office, my insecurity and pride
mixed to create a fantasy in which I envisioned the staff awaiting
my arrival and lining the entrance for congratulations and a
chorus of "How Great Thou Art."
My fantasy bubble popped when the church administrator
immediately asked, "Did you know our megaphone was busted
this weekend and the church vans weren't returned to their proper
parking spots?" I didn't know how to respond. I was speechless
(which was a small miracle). This wasn't the greeting I had
expected. In my state of shock, I stuttered something about
reparking the vans and buying a new megaphone. Then I hung
my head and walked to my office. As I sat at my desk, I thought,
"Does resignation have one s or two?" Just then I received a phone
call from a student's mother. I assumed that she was calling to
thank me for her son's life-changing weekend. Instead, she said,
"Doug, I have some problems with your leadership at camp this
weekend." She went on to explain that the only story she had
heard from her son was how the boys were lying around in their
underwear one night passing gas on lit matches and laughing at
the appearance of flames. She continued to chastise me for how
irresponsible and dangerous that was-saying the boys could
actually explode. (All I could think of was what a great video that
would make!) I guess she thought it was one of our planned events
as opposed to a random act of teenage silliness. Either way, I
became the object of her anger.
I had been in the office for ten minutes, and already I had had
two negative conversations regarding one of my best weekends of
ministry. I left the office immediately. As I drove home, I couldn't
contain my emotions and began to weep (not the watery-eye cry,
but the body-convulsing cry). I thought about all of the time,
energy, and emotion that had gone into the weekend. I mentally
replayed the intense conversations, the numerous tough leadership
decisions, and the faces of the many students who had become
excited about Christ. In tears, I arrogantly concluded that after
all of the work I had done this treatment was undeserved.
It was at this point, sitting in my car on the side of the road,
that I felt the supernatural presence of God. I wish I could say there
was an audible instruction; there wasn't. But I felt God impress on
my heart as I had never experienced before. I sensed God saying,
"Doug, you'll never be able to do enough to please everyone. Focus
on me. Rest in me. Abide in me. When your heart is turned toward
me, we can work together and do some good things." That was
it. That was the moment that revolutionized my ministry! My
three youth ministry problems were solved by this one soul-shaking
experience. The answer was not in programs or in feeling liked
or in pleasing everyone. The answer was in becoming the right person
for youth ministry. I had left God out of the equation and had
been doing youth ministry, using my own power. My heart had
become hard, and I was spending all my time doing the work of
God without being a man of God.
I was spending all my time doing the work
of God without being a person of God.
Not only did God work in the lives of students through that
camp, but he also used it to do his work in me. My focus and
dependence had been foolishly centered on my own ability to per-form
(to do). Now I understood that if I stayed dependent and
focused on God, he would empower me to be his servant and thus
accomplish his purposes in my ministry.
How Does One Become a Youth Worker
Who Depends on God?
Many youth workers I talk to can relate to feeling inadequate
about their gifts, their call into youth ministry, and their
performance as leaders. Hope for these struggles can be found by
focusing on God and his Word. The solution to my three problems
changed my life and ministry, and drives me to increase my
dependence on God's power and to develop my abilities as a spiritual
leader.
Answer 1: Recognize God's Power
Through Personal Humility
When my pride pushed me to create extravagant programs,
God taught me humility. Through my broken-heart experience,
I realized that, ultimately, programs don't work-God works.
God doesn't need a program in order to work. He doesn't even
need me. This realization brought humility when I finally admitted
my very small part in God's work. When good things happen
I need to recognize that they happen because of God's power
and not my own.
God doesn't need a program in order
to work. He doesn't even need me
If you are someone who soaks up credit for success, humility
may be a foreign quality. When you take credit for success,
it is easy to lose sight of God's power. I never plan to take credit
for God's work, but I have often found myself making a subtle
shift in thought from the youth ministry being God's work to it
being a result of my skills and efforts. I hate to admit it, but there
have been many times when I've patted myself on the back when
God deserved the credit. Sadly, I haven't taken the blame when
things were going bad. Almost without exception, when things
were rough I pleaded for God to strengthen "his" work.
Continues.
Chapter One
Healthy Youth Ministries
Have Spiritually Healthy LeadersMy friend Ted read this first chapter and said, "Doug, you
can't start your book this way; there aren't enough program
ideas." My friend Lissa, on the other hand, read the same chapter
and said, "Powerful beginning! Every youth worker should
be required to read this material before ever starting youth ministry."
Why the difference in responses?
Ted is twenty-two years old and just starting out in youth
ministry. He believes a hyped-up, flashy youth ministry with slick
logos, fancy calendars, big programs, and creative ideas paves the
route to a healthy youth ministry.
Lissa is a forty-two-year-old, experienced youth worker who
once walked in Ted's shoes. She understands the seduction of an
enticing youth ministry idea. For several years she placed hype
above health in her leadership. Youth ministry ideas were more
important than intimacy with God. Programs out-prioritized
prayer. She allowed her heart to become hard and later described
herself as a spiritual liar rather than a spiritual leader.
Lissa is not alone. I also walked down that path. I, too, was
always looking for creative ideas and fancy programs to make my
youth ministry flashy. I've since learned, as has Lissa, that a healthy
youth ministry doesn't begin with ideas, but with spiritual leaders.
When a church (or youth ministry point person) primarily
values hype, there is little need for spiritual leadership. A non-Christian
could become a "successful" youth worker at that kind
of church by increasing activities, launching new ideas, and boosting
attendance. With a little investigation, you probably wouldn't
find any measurable difference between this type of youth ministry
and a local non-Christian service club. Both use hype to attract.
This first chapter challenges you (and your church and youth
ministry team) to develop a youth ministry in which the leaders
rely on God's power. This is the essential and foundational ingredient
for building a spiritual legacy of long-term health. In the
long run, health is more attractive than hype.
My Journey from Hype to Health
I started youth ministry in 1979 as a volunteer for the junior
high ministry at my home church. I loved it! Although I had no
idea what I was doing, I knew God was using me and my energy
to connect with students and care for them. Within my first year
the junior high director left our church and I became the point
person by default. (I was the only other volunteer!) One year later
I still didn't know what I was doing, but I was sure busy doing
it. I had our junior high group participating in everything I could
find. If a flyer came to our church promoting an activity for junior
high students, we went. I'd get a sample curriculum from a conference
I attended and use it for Sunday school as soon as I
returned. I was too busy and having too much fun to recognize
or admit that I really had no idea how to build a healthy youth
ministry or even that I was supposed to build anything. The ministry
was nothing more than adolescent baby-sitting with some
occasional Bible study. But since the students were entertained
and attendance was up, everyone seemed to think we were a
healthy youth ministry.
After being a volunteer for two years, I was offered a paid
youth ministry position in 1981 as an intern with an established
youth ministry professional. I was thrilled to get paid to do what
I loved. I jumped at the opportunity and continued to do more
youth ministry while I finished college and seminary. My life
never slowed down. In addition to heavy school loads, I coached
school teams for better access to the local campus. I planned
camps, spoke to any group that would listen, and went to every
youth ministry training available. My life was youth ministry, and
I had become an expert at going, doing, and achieving.
In 1985 my youth ministry mentor handed me the leadership
of what was considered to be a successful youth ministry. While I
was thrilled, I was also driven by the need to prove I could "be the
man." This pushed me to do more and to look for the bigger and
better in everything I did (hype). I was out of the house almost every
night of the week. While all of the activities and excitement assured
that no one questioned my work ethic, I questioned everything.
In the midst of all that was happening, I couldn't shake the emptiness
of all I was doing. I was distant from the Lord and my heart
was slowly hardening. No one knew of my weakening disciplines
because everything looked good on the outside. I could "talk the
game" as it related to my spirituality. I had become the poster child
for Proverbs 26:23: "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just
as a pretty glaze covers a common clay pot" (NLT).
As my inner life was hardening, my outer world of youth
ministry was beginning to show cracks. Three main problems
haunted me and left me continually frustrated: I couldn't create
attractive programs like those of other churches, I wasn't sure that
I was the right person for youth ministry, and I could never do
enough to please everyone.
I was too arrogant to think these problems would get the best
of me and too insecure to ask for help. But within a year of my
new pastoral reign, God used these looming problems to soften
my heart and teach me what I desperately needed to know if I was
going to continue in the ministry. I wish I could have learned
these lessons from a book, but to be honest, I don't think I would
have slowed down long enough to learn from others even if they
had written about it.
Instead, I was driven to an authentic dependence on the
power of God to change my life and impact my youth ministry.
Problem 1: I Couldn't Create Attractive Programs
Like Those of Other Churches
In my continual search for new ideas, the ultimate catch
became the program that would please parents, bring students out
in droves, and help students grow spiritually. I needed a power-house
program that would move us from the minors to the
majors. Not knowing any better, I studied the big league youth
ministries and hoped that what they were doing would provide
my answer. I tried to implement their programs into my youth
ministry setting, but I didn't understand that there were too many
variables to be copied and taken into my youth ministry context.
I was too immature to look for transferable principles that
might help. Instead, I wanted an instant program to bring quick
success. What I learned was that copying someone else's program
always led to failure. Some program ideas worked for a while,
but they didn't have the same strength in my setting that they had
in the other churches.
Copying someone else's program
always led to failure
I thought that if youth ministry was about designing programs
and I couldn't get programs to work, then maybe I
shouldn't do youth ministry. I was depending on other ministries
to provide my answers instead of depending on God to show me
his plan for a healthy ministry. I was always comparing myself
to other youth workers who made incredible programming appear
so simple. My inability to create superb programs was fueled by
my comparisons, and my self-doubt skyrocketed. I became convinced
that I didn't have the knowledge and skills to do youth
ministry well.
Problem 2: Perhaps I Wasn't the Right Person
for Youth Ministry
During my first years in youth ministry, I remember standing
in front of junior high students and basking in their looks of
anticipation. I was young, fun, energetic, and well-liked. Their
faces said, "This is going to be good." But only a few years later,
when things weren't going as well, I saw a different look-one
that said, "This better be good." Because I lacked knowledge and
skills, I thought the students didn't like me anymore. Their enthusiasm
waned, attendance dropped, volunteers found other church
ministries to which they could devote their time, and our programs
changed every time I spied on another youth ministry. Parents
as well as church elders questioned what was happening, and
I accepted all the problems as my fault. I constantly looked over
my shoulder to see if other people were thinking what I was thinking-that
maybe I wasn't the right person for youth ministry
despite my having the necessary goods.
Even though I worked exhausting hours, the job wasn't getting
done the way everyone seemed to want. Previously unspoken
expectations surfaced, and they fueled my workaholic personality
to fix everything, even though I couldn't specifically identify
the problems. My desire for doing ministry had long moved from
pleasing God to appeasing people. I wanted to be liked by everyone,
and that desire moved me to my third major problem.
Problem 3: I Could Never Do Enough to Please Everyone
The critical breaking moment came in the wake of an
attempt to boost sagging attendance numbers. I organized an
evangelistic camp with the requirement that the only way students
could attend was if they brought an unchurched friend. To my
amazement, our students responded to the challenge. The power
of God moved that weekend, and the majority of the unchurched
students returned from camp with a new and meaningful relationship
with Jesus Christ. It was the greatest camp I had ever
experienced.
On the Monday following camp, I went into the church
office eager to share the news with the church staff and hear the
praise reports that I anticipated had been coming in all morning.
As I approached the church office, my insecurity and pride
mixed to create a fantasy in which I envisioned the staff awaiting
my arrival and lining the entrance for congratulations and a
chorus of "How Great Thou Art."
My fantasy bubble popped when the church administrator
immediately asked, "Did you know our megaphone was busted
this weekend and the church vans weren't returned to their proper
parking spots?" I didn't know how to respond. I was speechless
(which was a small miracle). This wasn't the greeting I had
expected. In my state of shock, I stuttered something about
reparking the vans and buying a new megaphone. Then I hung
my head and walked to my office. As I sat at my desk, I thought,
"Does resignation have one s or two?" Just then I received a phone
call from a student's mother. I assumed that she was calling to
thank me for her son's life-changing weekend. Instead, she said,
"Doug, I have some problems with your leadership at camp this
weekend." She went on to explain that the only story she had
heard from her son was how the boys were lying around in their
underwear one night passing gas on lit matches and laughing at
the appearance of flames. She continued to chastise me for how
irresponsible and dangerous that was-saying the boys could
actually explode. (All I could think of was what a great video that
would make!) I guess she thought it was one of our planned events
as opposed to a random act of teenage silliness. Either way, I
became the object of her anger.
I had been in the office for ten minutes, and already I had had
two negative conversations regarding one of my best weekends of
ministry. I left the office immediately. As I drove home, I couldn't
contain my emotions and began to weep (not the watery-eye cry,
but the body-convulsing cry). I thought about all of the time,
energy, and emotion that had gone into the weekend. I mentally
replayed the intense conversations, the numerous tough leadership
decisions, and the faces of the many students who had become
excited about Christ. In tears, I arrogantly concluded that after
all of the work I had done this treatment was undeserved.
It was at this point, sitting in my car on the side of the road,
that I felt the supernatural presence of God. I wish I could say there
was an audible instruction; there wasn't. But I felt God impress on
my heart as I had never experienced before. I sensed God saying,
"Doug, you'll never be able to do enough to please everyone. Focus
on me. Rest in me. Abide in me. When your heart is turned toward
me, we can work together and do some good things." That was
it. That was the moment that revolutionized my ministry! My
three youth ministry problems were solved by this one soul-shaking
experience. The answer was not in programs or in feeling liked
or in pleasing everyone. The answer was in becoming the right person
for youth ministry. I had left God out of the equation and had
been doing youth ministry, using my own power. My heart had
become hard, and I was spending all my time doing the work of
God without being a man of God.
I was spending all my time doing the work
of God without being a person of God.
Not only did God work in the lives of students through that
camp, but he also used it to do his work in me. My focus and
dependence had been foolishly centered on my own ability to per-form
(to do). Now I understood that if I stayed dependent and
focused on God, he would empower me to be his servant and thus
accomplish his purposes in my ministry.
How Does One Become a Youth Worker
Who Depends on God?
Many youth workers I talk to can relate to feeling inadequate
about their gifts, their call into youth ministry, and their
performance as leaders. Hope for these struggles can be found by
focusing on God and his Word. The solution to my three problems
changed my life and ministry, and drives me to increase my
dependence on God's power and to develop my abilities as a spiritual
leader.
Answer 1: Recognize God's Power
Through Personal Humility
When my pride pushed me to create extravagant programs,
God taught me humility. Through my broken-heart experience,
I realized that, ultimately, programs don't work-God works.
God doesn't need a program in order to work. He doesn't even
need me. This realization brought humility when I finally admitted
my very small part in God's work. When good things happen
I need to recognize that they happen because of God's power
and not my own.
God doesn't need a program in order
to work. He doesn't even need me
If you are someone who soaks up credit for success, humility
may be a foreign quality. When you take credit for success,
it is easy to lose sight of God's power. I never plan to take credit
for God's work, but I have often found myself making a subtle
shift in thought from the youth ministry being God's work to it
being a result of my skills and efforts. I hate to admit it, but there
have been many times when I've patted myself on the back when
God deserved the credit. Sadly, I haven't taken the blame when
things were going bad. Almost without exception, when things
were rough I pleaded for God to strengthen "his" work.
(Continues.)
