Chapter One
Things You'll Never Know
It's the first day of junior high Health class.
You're sitting in the back row with your
friends. You can't decide if you're excited
or nervous. Scared or thrilled. You've
been waiting for weeks to learn about
important stuff, like s-e-x, but you're not
sure you want to be learning it from Mr.
Henderson-the seventh-grade basketball
coach and personal friend of your parents
who also happens to go to your church.
When Mr. Henderson walks into the room, you know things
aren't going to be good. He looks mad. No, he actually
looks worried. Or maybe scared. He clears his throat,
glances at the room, turns to the chalkboard, and starts
drawing a diagram. His hand is trembling.
At first the picture looks kind of like a smiley face-two eyes
and little mouth. Then it starts to look like a frog. Make that
a smiling frog. Two smiling frogs. Wait . make that two smiling
frogs doing a strange dance. Without turning around,
the teacher says, "Today we'll be discussing the reproductive
systems of boys and girls. If anyone giggles, we'll just
forget the whole thing and do worksheets for the next six
weeks."
He points to the first smiling dancing frog-looking thing
and says, "This is the female reproductive system, comprising
fallopian tubes, ovaries, uterus and vagina." He
points to the second and says, "This is the male reproductive
system, comprising urethra, penis and testicles."
At the mention of testicles, you and
your friends start giggling uncontrollably.
The teacher slams down his piece of chalk, shattering it
into dust particles, and frantically erases the board. The
back of his neck starts turning bright red and his ears
quiver nervously. In a stern but shaking voice he says,
"Take out your workbooks, class, and turn to the chapter
on personal hygiene. This week we'll study B.O."
So much for that.
Nothing is more likely to kill the thrill of junior high sexual
curiosity than the mention of human perspiration.
Sexual curiosity is normal, especially in young children.
In their innocence, they realize that a great mystery surrounds
the human body and its many functions. In fact,
mystery is exactly the word the
Bible uses when describing the
relationship between a man and
woman.
So how did we end up with the picture of sex so prevalent
in today's society?
Let's look at school first. Sex education has managed to
reduce the mystery of sex to a simple biological function.
"The male penis enters the female vagina. Presto. Sex."
Of course, schools must cover all the bases, so they add
the following.
"Sex, by the way, can result in pregnancy or the contraction
of an STD, so be sure to use a condom. Let's all open our
sample condoms together and practice, um, using them,
um, I mean, take a look at them, shall we?"
And then, for good measure, they add one last thing.
"Remember, don't have sex with anyone until you're ready."
With any luck, everyone will pass the class and a whole
new population of sexually educated teenagers will hit the
halls.
If you missed the unit at school, no problem. Just spend a
night in front of the TV.
Girl: "Oh, Jack. We've known each other almost a
whole 15 minutes. Don't you think it's time we
cemented our love by sleeping together right here, right now?"
Jack: "Yes, yes, yes. And since our time slot is
almost over, there's no time to talk about the pros
and cons. Let's just do it, confident that no one will
get pregnant, contract a disease, experience any
guilt feelings, or regret having slept with such a
loser."
Girl: "Thank goodness every sexual encounter is
always great and perfect. Who'd want to spoil a
sweeps week episode with a disappointing, unfulfilling, and believable act of sex?"
Or maybe you'd rather watch a movie.
Boy: "Hey there, young beautiful lady. Why are you
going to jump off the side of this boat into the dark
churning waters of the angry ocean?"
Girl: "Because, even though I am beautiful and
wealthy, I haven't yet found a dashing young man
to sweep me off my feet and have sex with me, thus proving that I am valuable and worthy to walk
upon this earth."
Boy: "Hey, if that's all you want, I'm not busy for the
next few days. Whaddya say we spend, oh, maybe
48 hours pretending to get acquainted and then
get down to business, if you know what I mean.
That way, if the boat sinks and one of us drowns, the other one will have great memories for the next
50 years."
Give me a break.
Our society, which claims to know so much about sex, really
knows nothing. Actually, less than nothing. If society
knew the truth about sex, it would have to remove sex from
every TV show, every movie, every book, song, and magazine.
Do you know why? Because
sex, the way it was intended to
be, could never be reduced to a
screen, a CD, or a piece of paper.
Here are some facts that schools and the
media will never tell you about sex.
1. Sex is the most awesome, amazing, indescribable,
unbelievable, extraordinary tool for
giving pleasure to someone you love, but .
2. It promises to be awesome, amazing,
indescribable, unbelievable, and extraordinary
only in the context of a committed, life-long,
one-man-one-woman relationship
(known as marriage), because .
3. In addition to being awesome, amazing,
indescribable, unbelievable, and extraordinary,
sex is often embarrassing at first and
always messy (assuming everything is in
good working order), and .
4. Who would willingly risk embarrassment
with a person who hasn't proved trustworthy?
5. Why engage in a behavior that is dangerously
costly in every instance except one
(more on this in chapter 4)?
6. Who'd spend $59.95 on a cheap stereo
that will last for only a few months, when you
could invest that money for a few years, let
the principal and interest grow, and then buy
a quality system that will last a lifetime?
Granted, that's a simplified version of things, but you get the idea.
I recently spoke at a high school summer camp held
on a prominent Christian university campus. The
university nurse was there while I spoke, and when I
finished, she asked if I could come back in the fall
and speak to the college students. She was really
concerned that the information I presented wasn't
reaching the college age group. She told me that
lately, she'd had a number of girls come into health
services complaining of sore throats. She and her
staff had performed strep cultures, but they all came
back negative. She'd then suggested to the primary
physician that the girls be tested for chlamydia. Sure
enough, the tests came back positive.
(Continues.)
