Chapter One
The day Laurie called me she was in New York.
I was in the garage, mopping up psychedelic puddles of
Rocket Pops. Our ancient freezer had coughed its last icy
breath sometime during the night, and the entire summer supply
of Little League frozen confections was forced to seek
alternate accommodations. Unfortunately, the Popsicles tried
this on their own and met with disaster.
"Gabe has meetings all afternoon," Laurie said, after I
recovered from the shock of hearing her voice in the middle of
my mess. "I know it's last minute, but I'd love to drive up to see
you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, very sure. If it's not too inconvenient."
I warned her about the Popsicle massacre. "And it'll take
you a couple of hours. Are you sure you want to drive?"
"Yes, I love to drive. Remember?"
I smiled. Yes, I remembered. Laurie had a passion for the
open road. "Are you going to rent a convertible?"
"You know it! Now don't go to any trouble."
I hung up the phone, rinsed my permanently cherry-scented
mop, and frantically began cleaning the rest of my
humble abode like Tigger on steroids.
When Laurie pulled into the driveway three hours later,
she emerged from a black convertible sports car and smoothed
her straight blond hair. Back in college her hair was as brown
as mine.
She looked taller than I remembered. Maybe because I was
feeling rather small at the moment, hiding behind the living
room curtains, spying on her and wishing I had done all the
laundry last night so the dryer wasn't making that thunking
noise in the background.
Laurie adjusted the collar on her crisp white sleeveless
shirt and pulled off her sunglasses. For one paralyzing
moment, I couldn't imagine what we would talk about.
I opened the front door, and miraculously all time and
differences evaporated. We hugged and starting to talk over
the top of each other's sentences, as if we were back in our
dorm room. All that was missing were the Oreos and Reese's
Pieces.
We talked nonstop. I only remember one part of the
marathon conversation, which was when Darren returned from
the park with our three boys. They looked hot and frazzled and
ready to be home. I couldn't believe the afternoon was gone.
The words that sprang from my mouth were, "But we're not
done yet."
Laurie started to cry sniffly little tears. An untrained ear
might think Laurie was simply trying not to sneeze, but I knew
she was crying. Laurie leaked and squeaked. I slushed and
gushed. We knew this about each other.
"You're right," Laurie said. "You and I are not done yet, and
I have a feeling we never will be." She blinked quickly and tried
to smile for Darren's benefit.
Laurie stayed long enough for pizza. She promised to call
me the next day from her hotel. We talked for two hours. I
called her the next week. She called me the week after that. I
called her the next and so on.
"Think of it this way," I told Darren, when I showed him
the phone bill a few months after Laurie and I reconnected our
coast-to-coast friendship. "It's cheaper than therapy."
"What do you two talk about?" he asked.
"Everything."
"Like what?"
I shrugged and listed topics Laurie and I had covered during
the past week. "Varicose veins. New ways to fix chicken. The
ozone layer. Coffee prices. Fabric softener. You know, life stuff."
"But you don't drink coffee."
I looked at him and thought, How come men don't get this?
It's so basic.
"Laurie and I need to stay connected. It keeps me sane
when I talk to her every week."
"For eighty-seven minutes about chicken recipes and fabric
softener?"
"If that's how long it takes, yes. Sometimes we talk longer if
we discuss our hair or our hormones."
Darren left the room shaking his head.
The next time Laurie called, Darren answered the phone.
He talked to her for a few minutes before Laurie put Gabe on
so that our husbands could meet. The two men talked for
almost five minutes, which surprised me.
That night, when Darren climbed into bed, I said, "What
did you and Gabe talk about for so long?"
Darren looked at me with that smirk of his. "Oh, you
know, the usual. Fabric softener. Hormones."
I laughed so hard I got giggle tears all over my pillow. I was
the happiest I'd been in a long time. I couldn't explain where
all the joy came from. I already had a great life with a wonderful
husband and three healthy sons. But now I had Laurie
again, and she was filling up a place in my life that had been
empty for a long time.
Laurie and Gabe started coming to Connecticut every fall
for a week to get away from the frazzled pace of their lives.
They loved the New England autumn colors, and we loved seeing
them. That became our annual get-together for six years in
a row.
Then last August, Laurie called. "Gabe can't manage a free
week this fall for our New England getaway. I'm so disappointed."
"Oh," I moaned. "Are you sure? Not even for a quick week-end?"
"It doesn't look like it."
"I'm so sad, Laurie."
"I know. But I was thinking about taking a Roman Holiday
instead."
"You want to go to Italy?"
"No, Roman Holiday, the movie. You know, with Audrey
Hepburn. Remember how she played a princess who ran away
for a few days to escape the pressures of royalty?"
"Are you saying you're tired of being rich and famous?"
"Gabe is the one who is rich and famous. I'm just the one
who is tired. But not too tired to run away. Seriously, Hope, I
need to get out of here. I'm going crazy. I'm busier than ever
because I keep filling my calendar with stuff, but I'm not passionate
about anything. I'm just trying to be productive. What I
need is to get away and think things through. With all the girls
out of the house now, I'm not sure who I am or what I'm supposed
to be about."
"Getting away will help you figure that out?"
"I think so. I hope so. I can't focus on anything for very
long here at home. I keep getting interrupted. That's why I'm
ready to declare a Roman Holiday around here and run away
for a few days."
"So, if you don't want to go to Italy and you both can't
come here, where do you want to go?"
"Hawai'i."
In a carefully guarded corner of my heart, the original tiki
torch that had flickered faithfully for almost two decades
spiked into a flame. I didn't let Laurie hear the blaze in my
voice. "Hawai'i, huh?"
"Yes, Hawai'i. Don't you think it's about time the two of us
got our little hula hips over to the islands?" Laurie's voice had
definitely elevated. "Just the two of us, like we planned back in
college. What do you think, Hope?"
"I think ." A gust of reality all but extinguished the flame.
I was the one with the balloon payment coming up on our
mortgage and three teenage sons headed for college. Nothing
woven into the fabric of my DNA had ever allowed me to say
yes to spending a large chunk of money on myself. "I think I'll
have to think about it."
"I knew you'd say that. Don't say no too quickly. Run it
past your honey when he's in a good mood, then call me back.
Tell him you're being kidnapped by a runaway princess and
you'll bring him back a case of macadamia nuts."
"Oh, yeah, that ought to win him right over."
"I'm serious about this, Hope. I really need something to
look forward to. I need to go someplace where not one single
person will ask me to do some favor for them because I supposedly
have all this free time in my life now."
That afternoon I scuttled off to the video store like a dieter
sneaking into the bakery aisle of the grocery store. I never took
breaks during the day to watch TV or movies, but I rentedRoman Holiday and watched it by myself. As the credits ran, I
thought, Laurie is right. She needs to do this. I need to do this. We
need to go to Hawai'i.
The next morning I called Laurie. "I have only one request.
Could we rent scooters like Audrey Hepburn did and go darting
about in the Honolulu traffic?"
"I take it you're warming up to the idea?"
"Warmed, toasted, broiled, and fried. I'm all for it, Laurie."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, very sure. I have all green lights on my end. Darren
said we have enough frequent flyer points in his account to
cash in for my round-trip airfare."
"So when do you want to go?"
"I had an idea about that, too. Why don't we go the end of
January since our birthdays are only a few days apart? We'll
both be turning forty, you know."
"As if you need to remind me."
"Don't you think it would be memorable to turn forty in
Hawai'i?"
"Hope, you are a genius. Should I start checking into
hotels?"
"I'm already ahead of you. Open your e-mail. I just sent
you some options."
Before the day was over, we had booked our flights,
selected our hotel room, and printed out a list of recommended
restaurants in the greater Honolulu area. Twenty years
earlier the plans required much more effort.
We e-mailed and called each other frequently over the next
few weeks. Laurie made me laugh. Every time she called she
sounded like a jubilant nine-year-old planning her own surprise
birthday party. The guest list for this party was limited to
just the two of us, but the potential activities included horse-back
riding on the beach, snorkeling, sailing, taking a sunset
dinner cruise, parasailing, lots of fruity tropical beverages with
little umbrellas, and a big luau. Laurie was determined to celebrate
our entrance to midlife with pineapple pizzazz.
However, before our bags were packed, a little stowaway
had quietly added her name to the guest list.
Chapter Two
On Thanksgiving Day, two months before our big birthday
bash, Laurie called me as she and Gabe were driving to San
Francisco.
"I'm trying to picture your home right now," she said. "Tell
me if this is right. The dining room table is set with your
grandmother's china, you've plopped an iced cranberry in each
crystal goblet, and a garland of maple leaves is strung over the
fireplace."
"You've got it," I said. "The guys are watching football
and ." I paused and then decided to see if Laurie could
decode my secret message. "The-turkey-is-in-the-oven."
"Are you saying that .?"
"Yep."
"Hope!"
"I couldn't wait for my doctor's appointment on Monday. I
took a home test this morning, and it's about as positive as it
could be."
"Hope!"
"I know. Is this insane or what?"
"It's wonderful. Really. Congratulations! Gabe, Hope is
pregnant!"
Gabe's voice echoed in the background on Laurie's cell
phone. I could picture the two of them in their cashmere
sweaters, settled in the leather seats of Gabe's Jaguar, roaring
down the freeway headed for their oldest daughter's apartment.
"What did Gabe just say?"
"He said you're trying to make our trip more of an adventure
by bringing a little extra baggage."
"Darren and I are still in shock."
"Have you told the boys yet?" Laurie asked.
"No, we're trying to decide if we should tell them at dinner
or wait until later."
"Oh, tell them at dinner. It will make for a Thanksgiving
memory like no other."
"I suppose you're right."
"How are you feeling, Hope?"
"Great. And listen, Darren and I already talked about it,
and this does not change the plans for January. You and I are
still going to Hawai'i."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, very sure. If my calculations are correct, I'll only be
into my fourth month in January. No one will even know I'm
pregnant. I'll probably just look chubby."
"Oh, right. That's doubtful. With your long torso, you've
always managed to hide any extra pounds that came along.
You probably won't even be showing by then."
I stood to the side and smoothed my knit top over my
midriff, trying to evaluate my shape in the oven door's reflection.
Was it my imagination, or did I show a little already?
"Hope, listen, if you start to get morning sickness, or you're
too uncomfortable, or concerned about the baby for any reason,
we'll postpone the trip for another time."
"When? Our fiftieth birthdays? No, this is definitely the
time for us to go. After this little pumpkin shows up, I have a
feeling I won't be going anywhere for a long time."
"Okay," Laurie said. "But remember, I'm open to adjustments,
if necessary. Let me know how it goes when you tell the
boys."
That afternoon, when our family gathered around the dining
room table, Darren prayed, thanking God for all He had
given us over the years. After the hearty "amens," I lifted my
head and noticed the exquisite way the autumn sunshine came
pouring through the window, infusing the whole room with an
amber glow. Glittering dust particles, caught up in a silent
dance, swirled above the wooden floor. Every brass picture
frame on the mantle sparkled. I couldn't have asked for a more
golden moment to make the glad announcement to our sons.
I glanced at Darren. He gave me a wink and a nod, and I
proclaimed that I was thankful for the day, the baby that was
growing inside me, the baby that would, Lord willing, be with
us at this table next Thanksgiving.
The boys put down their forks and stared. Our
sixteen-year-old blurted out, "Mom, you're kidding, right?"
"No, I'm not kidding. We're going to have a baby."
"Why? I mean . you guys! What were you thinking?"
Darren and I looked at each other.
"Man, this is kind of embarrassing for us, you know."
"Wait a minute," Darren said firmly. "We're a family here.
We're in this together. Your mother and I are very happy about
the baby, and you boys should be, too."
They didn't look convinced so Darren leaned forward and
said, "Every child is a gift from God. It's not up to any of us to
choose when we come into this world or when we go out. Your
number one objective is to support your mother in this. Got it?
Come on, I'm counting on you. All of you."
Our boys managed to stand as gentlemen and line up to
give me a kiss on the cheek.
Mitchell, our oldest, said, "Sorry if we didn't seem very
supportive. I think you'll make a great mom."
"Oh, you think so, do you?"
Thirteen-year-old Blake said, "Yeah, you've done a pretty
good job with us. The new kid will probably turn out okay."
I tried to hide my smile.
Blake's expression turned to a scowl. "He's not going to
share my room, is he?"
"We'll figure all that out later," Darren said, passing a bowl
of mashed potatoes. "Come on, let's eat." No one had to offer
food to our boys twice.
A week before Christmas, Darren went with me to the
doctor for all the usual scans and tests. We found out that "the
new kid" would be arriving much earlier than I originally had
predicted. According to the doctor's calculations, the baby
would arrive not in June but mid-April. That startling information
didn't sink in right away because we also found out we
were having a girl.
Continues.