Chapter One
Lesson 1
Denial
Principle 1: Realize I'm not God. I admit that I am powerless to control
my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.
"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor."
Matthew 5:3 GNB
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and
compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful
nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot
carry it out."
Romans 7:18
Think About It
Before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face
and admit our denial.
God tells us, "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!"
(Jeremiah 6:14 TLB). The acrostic for DENIAL spells out what can happen
if we do not face our denial.
Disables our feelings
By repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding
and feeling our feelings is freedom.
"They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of
destructive habits-for a man is a slave of anything that has conquered
him" (2 Peter 2:19 GNB).
Energy lost
A side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious
energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading
the future. It is only in the present, today, where positive change can
occur.
"He frees the prisoners.; he lifts the burdens from those bent
down beneath their loads" (Psalm 146:7-8 TLB).
Negates growth
We are "as sick as our secrets." We cannot grow in recovery until
we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth.
"They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from their darkness and shadow of death and snapped their
chains" (Psalm 107:13-14 TLB).
Isolates us from God
God's light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark.
"God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have
fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by
the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship
with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us
from all sin" (1 John 1:5-7).
Alienates us from our relationships
Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no one
knows-but they do.
What is the answer?
"Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each
other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves" (Ephesians
4:25 TLB).
Lengthens the pain
We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In
reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame
and guilt.
God's promise: "I will give you back your health again and heal
your wounds" (Jeremiah 30:17 TLB).
Accept the first principle of recovery. Step out of your denial! Step
into your Higher Power's-Jesus Christ's-unconditional love and
grace!
Write About It
1. What areas of your life do you have power (control) over? Be
specific.
2. What areas of your life are out of control, unmanageable? Be
specific.
3. How do you think taking this first step will help you?
4. As a child, what coping skills did you use to get attention or to
protect yourself?
5. What was the "family secret" that everyone was trying to protect?
6. How do you handle pain and disappointment?
7. How can you begin to address your denial?
8. In what areas of your life are you now beginning to face reality
and break the effects of denial?
9. Are you starting to develop a support team? Are you asking for
phone numbers in your meetings?
List them on the inside back cover of this workbook!
(Continues.)
