Chapter One
Earthly Treasures
Knowing he would die soon, a rich man had all his assets converted
into gold bars, put them in a big bag on his bed, draped his body over
the bag of gold, and breathed his last. When he woke up, he was at the
gate of Heaven.
Saint Peter met him at the gate and with a concerned look on his face
said, "Well, I see you actually managed to get here with something from
earth! But unfortunately, you can't bring that in."
"Oh please, sir," said the man. "I must have
it. It means everything to me."
"Sorry, my friend," said Saint Peter. "If you
want to keep that bag, then I'm afraid you'll
have to go to, you know, the other place.
You don't want to go there, believe me."
"Well, I won't part with this bag."
"Have it your way," returned Peter. "But
before you go, would you mind if I looked in
the bag to see what it is that you're willing
to trade eternal life for?"
"Sure," said the man. "You'll see. I
could never part with this."
Saint Peter looked in the bag and
with a puzzled look on his face said to the man, "You're willing to go to
hell for . pavement?"
Where to take it from here .
What's coming between you and God? Your money? Your possessions?
Your status? Your friends? Your fun? You may be sure that none of it can
compare with what God has prepared for you (1 Corinthians 2:9). "What
good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"
(Matthew 16:26).
ONLY IN THE MOVIES
Here's a list of things you can learn from watching too many movies or
TV shows:
Most dogs are immortal.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there's someone in the
control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No
one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to
any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition-even
if you haven't been carrying any before now.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war, unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be
necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forth-coming
art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it
before long.
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a
bill-just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the
exact fare.
Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere
in the universe.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing garments.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say:Enter Password Now.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size
of a football stadium.
Medieval peasants had
perfect teeth.
It is not necessary to say hello
or goodbye when beginning or ending
phone conversations.
Even when driving down a perfectly
straight road it is necessary
to turn the steering wheel
vigorously from left to right
every few moments.
All bombs are fitted with electronic
timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when
they're going to go off.
It's always possible to park directly outside the building you're visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will
know all the steps.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication
systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out
the ones before them.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will
never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption,or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they're alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chain saw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked in seconds by a credit card or a paper clip-unless
it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally
at that precise moment.
People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they're usually dead
within minutes.
You can always rely on your car keys already being in the ignition
when you get in the car, but if it's an emergency you can't find the
keys anywhere.
No one locks doors, and if they do, chances are there's a hatchet about
to come through it.
Where to take it from here .
TV and the movies rarely depict real life accurately. The electronic media's
primary purpose is to entertain rather than to teach. For that one reason
alone, never take TV shows or movies seriously-especially in their portrayal
of Christian values and beliefs. Even though millions of people in America
profess faith in Christ, Christians are nonexistent in the movies. And even
though the vast majority of people in our country believe that sex should be
reserved for marriage, few married people in the movies ever have sex-only
unmarried people do.
When you watch TV or go to the movies, keep in mind that what you
just saw probably could never (and should never) happen in real life. Don't
let yourself be influenced by a lie.
(Continues.)
