Chapter OneDISCUSSION ONE
Watch a clip from the last scene of Father of the Bride, Part 2. In
this scene, George Banks (Steve Martin) is in the hospital. Both his
wife and his daughter, Annie, are in labor.
If you've birthed children, tell your best labor and delivery
story. If you've adopted a child, tell about the "birth pangs" of
paperwork, seeing first photos, and meeting that child for the first
time. If you are not a parent, discuss where your parents (or friends)
told you babies came from.
Read John 3:1-21
Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member
of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no
one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not
In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the
kingdom of God unless he is born again."
"How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked.
"Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be
Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom
of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to
flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at
my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it
pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or
where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
"How can this be?" Nicodemus asked.
"You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand
these things? I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we
testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony.
I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? No one has ever
gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven - the Son of
Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of
Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For
God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to
save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has
not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light
because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be
seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
1. What facts can we gather about Nicodemus from the first
couple of sentences?
2. Jesus' initial response doesn't seem to go with the flow of the
conversation. Why do you think he responded as he did?
3. Jesus and Nicodemus had very different views of the concept
"born again." People today often mean something different
from both of these options when they use the term "born
again." Let's compare the ideas of Nicodemus, Jesus, and
people today related to what being "born again" means. Fill out
this chart together as a group.
What Does the Phrase "Born Again" Mean to You?
Nicodemus Jesus People Today
4. What parallels are there between a "spiritual" birth and a
5. Jesus is very strong and straightforward in his approach with
this professor. If you were Nicodemus, how would you be feeling
at this point?
6. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal
life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn
the world, but to save the world through him" are some of the
most famous words in all the Bible. Pick out all the action
words (verbs) from these two sentences. When it comes to eternal
life, what is God's role and what response does he desire
7. Assume for a moment that Jesus' claim is true: that he is God's
only Son. Would it then be arrogant for him to make the narrow
claim, "Whoever does not believe stands condemned
already"? Support your answer.
8. In this passage, light represents truth while darkness represents
lies. A person moves into the light simply by living according to
the truth. We all know someone who has been afraid of moving
toward truth in at least one area of life. Tell of a time when you
or someone you know (who should remain nameless) had a
relational, emotional, or spiritual breakthrough by facing the
How would you compare your own search for God with Nicodemus'
___ Less academic
___ More straightforward
___ More relational
___ Less secretive
___ Less dogmatic
Where are you in your understanding of spiritual life-still in the
dark, moving closer to the light, or . (you fill it in)?