Chapter One
Crisis
Counseling
from a Biblical
Perspective
In any type of Christian counseling, knowledge of the biblical approach
is essential. One way to develop a biblical approach is to study the life of
Jesus and His relationships with others. The way He ministered to others
is a model for all of us who seek to help others.
As we look at the characteristics of Jesus' approach in counseling, we
must remember that techniques alone are not effective. Jesus' relationships
with the people to whom He ministered were the foundation of
His approach.
An individual, couple or family coming for counseling needs to know
that you care about them. You demonstrate this by your warmth, understanding,
acceptance and belief in their ability to change and mature.
Jesus' Exemplary Model
One important observation we can make about Jesus' approach to counseling
is that His work with people was a process. He did not see them
for just a few minutes during an appointment and then forget about
them. He spent time helping them work through life's difficulties in an
in-depth manner. He saw people's potential and hopes, despite their
problems. Let's delve into what made Jesus the wonderful counselor.
Jesus Was Compassionate
A basic characteristic of Jesus' approach was His compassion for others.
We see His compassion expressed in the New Testament:
I feel compassion for the multitude because they have remained
with Me now three days, and have nothing to eat (Mark 8:2,
NASB
).
And when He went ashore, He saw a great multitude, and He felt
compassion for them because they were like sheep without a shepherd;
and He began to teach them many things (Mark 6:34,
NASB
).
His main concern was to alleviate suffering and meet the needs of the
people.
Jesus Accepted People
When Jesus first met people, He accepted them as they were. In other
words, He believed in them and in what they would become. The characteristic
of acceptance is seen throughout the New Testament. When
Jesus met the woman at the well, He accepted her as she was without
condemning her (see John 4:1-26). He also accepted the woman caught
in adultery (see John 8:1-11) and Zacchaeus, the dishonest tax collector
(see Luke 19:1-10).
Jesus Gave People Worth
People were Jesus' top priority. He established this priority and gave
them worth by putting their needs before the rules and regulations the
religious leaders had constructed. He involved Himself in the lives of
people who were considered the worst of sinners, and He met them
where they had needs. In so doing, He helped elevate their sense of self-worth.
This is an important step in crisis counseling.
One of the ways Jesus gave worth to people was to show them their
value in God's eyes, by comparing God's care for other creatures with
God's care for them:
Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will
fall to the ground apart from your Father (Matt. 10:29,
NASB
).
At the heart of many people's problems is a low self-concept or a feeling
of lack of worth. Helping a person discover his or her personal worth
because of who God is and what He has done for him or her helps to stabilize
the person.
Jesus Met People's Needs
Another characteristic of Jesus' ministry was His ability to see the needs
of people and to speak directly to them, regardless of what they might
have brought to His attention. We see discernment in the example of
Nicodemus's coming to Jesus during the night. Whatever might have
been Nicodemus's reason for wanting to talk with Jesus at that time,
Jesus discerned his real problem and confronted him with the need to be
born again (see John 3:1-21).
In meeting the immediate needs of people, Jesus did not use the
same approach with everyone. Gary Collins explains this well in his book
How to Be a People Helper:
Jesus not only dealt with people in different ways, but He also
related to individuals at different levels of depth or closeness.
John was the disciple whom Jesus loved, perhaps the Master's
nearest friend, while Peter, James, and John together appear to
have comprised an inner circle with whom the Lord had a special
relationship. Although they were not as close as the inner three,
the other apostles were Christ's companions, a band of twelve
men who had been handpicked to carry on the work after Christ's
departure. In Luke 10 we read of a group of seventy men to whom
Jesus gave special training. Following the resurrection He appeared
to a larger group of five hundred people, and then there were
crowds, sometimes numbering in the thousands, many of whom
may have seen Christ only once and from a distance.
Essentially, each person who comes to you during a loss, a crisis or a
trauma has a desperate need.
Jesus Used the Right Words
Sometimes Jesus spoke directly, even harshly. Other times He was soft-spoken.
Sometimes He conveyed His feelings nonverbally:
And after looking around at them with anger, grieved at their
hardness of heart, He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand."
And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored (Mark 3:5,
NASB
).
Jesus always based His choice of words and inflection of voice on the situation
at hand.
Jesus Emphasized Right Behavior
Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, "Go, and sin no more" (John
8:11,
KJV
). Jesus' desire was that those who were seeking Him would turn
from their wrong ways. Jesus compared the lives of two builders with
two different foundations by saying that "Everyone who comes to Me,
and hears My words, and acts upon them" will build a house with a deep
foundation laid "upon the rock" (Luke 6:47-48,
NASB
). His emphasis
was on living on the foundation of the rock-a righteous life-not the
sand-a sinful life.
Jesus Encouraged People to Accept Responsibility
In John 5, Jesus responded to the man at the pool of Bethesda by asking,
"Do you want to get well?" (v. 6). By asking this question, Jesus sought
to have the man accept responsibility for remaining sick or being made
well. In another instance, He asked a blind man, "What do you want me
to do for you?" (Mark 10:51).
In crisis counseling, the person, couple or family must see that they
need to make a choice to remain the same or to change and grow; and
they must make that choice before much progress will be seen. A goal of
crisis counseling, as you will see, is to help the person in need accept and
take responsibility.
Jesus Provided Hope
To many people, Jesus gave hope:
And they were even more astonished and said to Him, "Then
who can be saved?" Looking upon them, Jesus said, "With men
it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with
God" (Mark 10:26-27,
NASB
).
Jesus was the light to a very dark world. He boldly declared that only
with God's help could people reach their full potential.
Jesus Encouraged People
How important is encouragement in crisis counseling? Should it be used
sparingly in any phase of the crisis sequence? Encouragement provides
the counselee with hope and a desire to change. He or she needs to know
you believe in them.
Jesus regularly and inclusively encouraged people around Him:
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give
you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am
gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your
souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light (Matt. 11:28-30,
NASB
).
Jesus Emphasized Peace of Mind
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world
gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it
be fearful (John 14:27,
NASB
).
If there is one thing a person in crisis usually does not have, it is peace
of mind. Jesus offered that hope. Our task is to help others discover
it.
Jesus Helped Reshape, or Refashion, People's Thinking
Jesus helped people redirect their attention from the unimportant
things of life to the important (see Luke 5:22-25; 12:22-27). He taught
that focusing on treasures in heaven instead of on earthly treasures
would lead to a joy-filled heart (see Matt. 6:19-21).
Jesus Was a Teacher
Teaching is a definite part of counseling, and we see over and over again
how Jesus taught. Often He used direct statements in His teaching. At
other times He used questions:
And it came about when He went into the house of one of the
leaders of the Pharisees on the Sabbath to eat bread, that they
were watching Him closely. And there, in front of Him was a
certain man suffering from dropsy. And Jesus answered and
spoke to the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, "Is it lawful to heal
on the Sabbath, or not?" But they kept silent. And He took hold
of him, and healed him, and sent him away. And He said to
them, "Which one of you shall have a son or an ox fall into a
well, and will not immediately pull him out on a Sabbath day?"
And they could make no reply to this (Luke 14:1-6,
NASB
; see
also Luke 6:39-42).
How would you summarize your teaching style? Do you try to use various
approaches, or do you stick with one well-oiled approach?
Jesus Spoke with Authority
Another characteristic of Jesus' approach was that He spoke with
authority. He was not hesitant, backward or bashful; He was authoritative:
For He was teaching them as one having authority, and not as
their scribes (Matt. 7:29,
NASB
).
Jesus was very conscious of His authority. Those who know Christ
and are called to a ministry of helping via counseling have the authority
of God's Word behind them.
There is a distinction, however, between using the authority of the
Scriptures and being authoritarian. Some counselors pull out a scriptural
passage and apply it to any problem without hearing the full extent
of the difficulty and without knowing whether Scripture is necessary at
that particular time. Some counselors who are unwilling or fail to examine
the problems in their own lives, but who nevertheless attempt to
counsel and use scriptural authority, might misapply Scripture or distort
it because of their own difficulties.
How might your authority as a minister be used properly or misused
in counseling a person in crisis?
Jesus Admonished and Confronted
Notice how Jesus, when necessary, admonished and confronted people:
And He said to them, "Why are you timid, you men of little
faith?" Then He arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and it
became perfectly calm (Matt. 8:26,
NASB
).
And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens
to you, you have won your brother (Matt. 18:15,
NASB
).
Another example of how Jesus admonished and confronted is in
John 8:3-9
(NASB)
:
And the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in
adultery, and having set her in the midst, they said to Him,
"Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very
act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such
women; what then do You say?" And they were saying this, testing
Him, in order that they might have grounds for accusing
Him. But Jesus stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the
ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened
up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him
be the first to throw a stone at her." And again He stooped down,
and wrote on the ground. And when they heard it, they began to
go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was
left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the midst.
Sometimes it is necessary to confront the counselee directly about
his or her problem.
Jesus' Holy Life
Jesus' ministry was one of helping people achieve fullness of life and
assisting them in developing their ability to deal with the problems, conflicts
and burdens of life. Perhaps what's really important for the counselor-whether
professional or layman-is to consider why Jesus was
so effective in His ministry. As we look at His personal life, the answer is
evident.
Jesus Was Obedient to God
Foremost in Jesus' personal life was His obedience to God. The relationship
between Him and His Father was centered on His obedience to
God-the mainstay of His life. Two verses from the book of John emphasize
this point:
For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent
me commanded me what to say and how to say it (John 12:49).
I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you
gave me to do (John 17:4).
Jesus Was Faithful
Another reason Jesus' ministry was effective was that He lived a life of
faith and, therefore, was able to put things in proper perspective, seeing
through God's eyes. The example of the death of the synagogue official's
daughter and Jesus' response to the statement of her death showed His
faith:
Don't be afraid; just believe (Mark 5:36).
Jesus uttered these words to the ears of a parent who had just lost a
child. Yet Jesus had extreme faith that the child could and would be
alive.
Jesus Was a Prayer Warrior
Another reason for Jesus' effectiveness was the power of His prayer life.
His example indicates that prayer is a very important element in one's
ministry:
But the news about Him was spreading even farther, and great
multitudes were gathering to hear Him and to be healed of their
sicknesses. But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness
and pray (Luke 5:15-16,
NASB
).
And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray,
and He spent the whole night in prayer to God. And when day
came, He called His disciples to Him; and chose twelve of them,
whom He also named as apostles (Luke 6:12-13,
NASB
).
Some counselors find it helpful to pray either at the beginning or at
the end of their counseling sessions. Others might not pray during the
session, but prayer is still an important part of their counseling ministry.
Some counselors pray specifically for each counselee every day and let the
counselee know they are doing this. Some have also asked their counselees
to pray for them that God would give them wisdom and insight as
they minister.
One pastor says that when he is completely stymied in a counseling
session and does not know what to do next, it is his practice to admit
this fact openly to the counselee.
Continues.
