Chapter One
I Had No Idea .
When I started in youth ministry as a volunteer in
1979, I had no idea the pace, the pressure, and
the people would demand so much from my
personal life.
But as much as I understood God's calling, I was
confident God wanted me in ministry. And because
others affirmed my calling, I was given leadership responsibility
at a young age (mostly because I fit the
youth ministry stereotype: young, fun, energetic, and
a little crazy).
In the beginning I was confident I could do what
I'd observed my youth pastor doing for several years:
teaching Bible studies, hanging out with teenagers,
eating lots of pizza, and working at a church with a
bunch of nice people-all the things that fall under the
title of "ministry."
During my early years of youth ministry, I would
have never read a book like this! All I cared about were
new ideas, fun activities, attractive programs, and ways
to increase our youth ministry attendance. I never
imagined I would need so much help maintaining a
pure heart and staying connected with God. I had so
much to learn.
Because in the busyness of my first decade of ministry,
I abandoned my first love (God) and developed a
love affair with doing ministry. I turned into the poster
child for doing at the expense of being. I was always
busy, always on the move, always armed with new ideas
and fresh visions that had to be implemented and conquered
immediately. My strong drive and workaholic
personality accomplished a lot of ministry, but at the
expense of being a man after God's own heart.
I was too busy for God-but I figured God would
understand because I was busy for him.
I had lost something spiritually. I didn't become an
atheist-I just sacrificed my intimacy with God for the
idols of busyness, achievement, and making people
happy. While others were applauding my "success," I
was an empty shell in spiritual atrophy.
When I finally admitted my condition to a friend, I
realized I wasn't alone. And now, many years later, when
I openly talk about the mismanagement of my life and
ministry, I realize more youth workers struggle with this
than I ever imagined. Not only was I not alone, I wasn't
even in the minority! Most Christian leaders can relate
to spiritual decay that's a direct result of busyness.
That's why I feel burdened to help youth workers
discern what matters most in their lives-so they can
spend their limited, valuable time focusing on answering
that crucial question.
Let me assure you that I'm a very different leader and
follower of Christ today than I was in 1979. For starters,
no one in my youth ministry considers me young
anymore, I'm not as much fun as I used to be, and I
don't have the energy I had during my earlier years of
ministry. (Pulling an "all-nighter" once meant hanging
out all night with teenagers-now it means going
to bed without waking up to go to the bathroom.) In
other words, I'm definitely not cool (my own teenagers
remind me of this daily). But I'm much healthier
today-both spiritually and personally.
As someone who genuinely loves youth workers,
I write this book hoping you'll be encouraged, challenged,
and helped. I've heard plenty of youth
workers' horror stories. I've seen firsthand the
carnage of damaged ministry lives. I've listened to
numerous heart-wrenching accounts of hurting
marriages. And I've talked with a lot of good people
who've given so much of themselves while serving others
that their souls are now drained and their spiritual
depth is now dangerously shallow.
Whether you're a rookie in ministry or a veteran,
if you're not doing the "I've been there" nod in response
to what you've read so far, pause long enough
to be thankful . and please continue reading and taking
notes so you can avoid the personal pain and collateral
damage that can happen when ministry leaders
don't recognize what matters most.
(Continues.)
