Chapter One
Why Naked Dogs
Look So Dressed
This book was birthed one sultry Friday night in south Texas
while I was turning on my sprinkler system. Because of an
extended drought the city only allowed grass watering between
midnight and six a.m. No big deal to me since I was a
night owl.
As I walked across my backyard, I noticed my neighbors'
lights were on. Curious as to why they were up so late, I approached
the fence and looked through the slats. I expected
to see a handful of people playing cards inside their home.
Or at least, I convinced myself that's what I expected so see.
Instead I saw a hot young brunette talking on the phone. That
wouldn't have been any big deal if she had been dressed. But
she wasn't.
Instantly my eyes locked on her. Adrenaline raced through
my body.
In that moment my mind flashed back to the night I was
playing on the swing set in the backyard of the home where I
grew up in Roswell, New Mexico. As I swung up and down,
to my right, I saw my older sister's bedroom light turn on. A
moment later one of her high school friends, with the body
of a goddess, undressed in front of the window. At the time I
couldn't believe my good luck.
Yet on that balmy night in Texas I wasn't a kid. I was a
thirty-year-old pastor, with a gorgeous wife, a son . and .
and . and I wondered, What am I doing?
After gazing at her for a few seconds, I pried myself away
from the fence. Okay, it might have been more than a few
seconds. But it wasn't a minute . definitely not a minute.
Anyway, as I walked away I felt intoxicated by the spectacular
beauty of that naked woman's body. And I couldn't help but
wonder why the form of a nude female would affect me that
way.
Since that experience, I've addressed thousands of men
around the world and talked personally with hundreds more.
I've administered confidential surveys to find out what men
are thinking and doing. In the process, I've discovered a reality
that will no doubt surprise you as much as the presence of
salt in the sea-namely, every man, Christian or otherwise,
has his own personal battle with lust.
Those who disclaim such a battle are either in denial or
lying. I guess they could also be dying and just too sick to
think about sex. But even dying men may have sex on their
mind. My eighty-seven-year-old father was talking about sex
just hours before dying of pneumonia.
The point is, if you're a man you're wired to enjoy the
beauty of a woman, and that enjoyment can take your mind
and body to some sinful places with severe consequences.
And I suspect you're reading this book because you're trapped
in a sinful place and want out or you want a map to keep
you from going there. Before providing you with such help, I
want to talk about the question raised on the night I saw thatau naturel brunette. Namely: why do naked women look so
good?
Actually, I wrote this chapter and the next one after finishing
the rest of the book. As I basked in the belief that I had
banged out the last line of the last paragraph, a thought occurred
to me. The more I contemplated this thought the more
it bothered me. The thought flowed from my observing that
a lot of Christian men, maybe even you, think it's sinful to
enjoy looking at a beautiful woman.
Such thinking is reinforced by writers and Christian experts
who, in an attempt to call men to sexual purity, decry
not only adultery and pornography-fueled masturbation, but
the act of drawing pleasure from a woman's beauty as well.
I just finished reading a popular book written to help
Christian men live sexually pure lives. While the book provides
helpful insights and practical suggestions, the author
gives the impression that whenever a man derives pleasure
from looking at a woman-he seemed to mean any woman
in any situation-other than his wife, he has committed adultery,
or at least foreplay, in his heart. In essence, he seems to
insist that the magnetism a man feels for a beautiful woman
who is not his wife is always fueled by and feeds sexual lust.
So the author coaches the men to never look at a woman except
his wife. With such superspiritual and utterly impossible
standards, is it any wonder so many Christian men live under
a load of failure and guilt?
I'm convinced your ability to enjoy the beauty of a woman
is a gift from God. That doesn't mean God would approve of
your feasting your eyes on Internet porn or the gyrating hips
of the skimpily dressed girls who dance during a beer commercial.
Nor is it okay for you to check out the lingerie ads in
the morning paper-an entry point ritual for me. But I don't
buy into the idea that if you're walking through a park and a
gorgeous girl walks by it's wrong for you to notice her beauty
and enjoy it. Would it be okay for you to ogle her? Or to follow
her so you could continue "enjoying" her beauty?
Umm . do you need me to answer that question? Come
on . you know the difference between glancing at a gorgeous
girl and locking in your visual video recorder and capturing
her every move for future reference. The key issue is for you
to enjoy a woman's beauty without compromising your character
and using her excellence to feed your lust.
"Okay," you may be asking, "how do I accomplish that?"
I'm convinced the first step down the path of sexual purity
involves understanding why naked dogs look so dressed
and-more importantly-why naked women look so good.
Once we understand the sacred gift God has given us, we'll
realize why we should cherish it and keep it pure.
I'd like to lift the magnetism you feel
toward beautiful women to the high and holy place
I believe God intended it to occupy.
The Mystery of a Woman's Beauty
When I saw my wife's body for the first time, I beheld something
heavenly. Nothing in all of creation compared with the
beauty of her nakedness. Being the modest type, she refused
to run, or even walk, around our apartment naked . even
though I pleaded with her. I simply couldn't see enough of
her unexcelled naked beauty. I remember feeling as though I
shouldn't stare. But I wanted to stare.
Evolutionists strip the mystery from a woman's beauty.
They tell us men are attracted to naked women because of
natural selection. They reason that if men didn't find women
attractive, they wouldn't be inclined to reproduce. While that
makes sense, it also reduces sexual magnetism to a purely biological,
animalistic experience. It isn't. God created men with
sexual appetites. He wired us to be attracted to women.
There's more here than some sort of accidental evolutionary
programming. The book of Proverbs addresses the
magnetism between a man and a woman. Agur, son of Jakeh
(some of those ancient Jews had weird names), described four
things too amazing for him to understand. One of them was
how a man loves a woman (Proverbs 30:19). That ancient sage
couldn't decipher the mystery of the magnetism between a he
and a she.
So why do naked women look so good? The answer may
disappoint you like the punch line to a very long and bad joke.
You see, there's something about the buzz men get when they
look at a beautiful woman that defies understanding.
At the deepest level, nobody understands
the attraction between men and women.
It's kind of like sleep. Did you know that nobody fully
understands why people need to sleep? Doesn't that seem
odd to you? Researchers understand what happens when we
sleep and what occurs when we're sleep deprived. They can
even state the benefits of sleep. But nobody knows exactly
why humans need to sleep.
Similarly, we don't know why naked women look so good
to men. God has created something wonderful for you that
defies understanding. If, as though it were a mathematical
formula, you could understand the attraction you feel for the
female face and form, there would be no mystery.
So if someone ever asks you, "Why do naked women look
so good?" you can answer, "Metaphysically, we just don't
know." That will definitely impress them.
Having said that, there are aspects of the answer that are
as simple as 2 + 2 = 4. For instance, naked women are beautiful
because we seldom see them that way. This whole idea
of nakedness is a special treat God has given only to people.
Animals, for instance, can't be naked.
Why Do Naked Dogs Look So Dressed?
Over the years I've had several dogs. My most recent was a
185-pound Great Dane. When I'd take him for a walk people
would comment on his size and then ask me his name.
"He's Big," I'd say.
"He sure is," they'd reply. "What's his name?"
"He really is Big," I'd say as I patted his massive black
head with my right hand.
Frustrated, they'd ask again about his name.
By then I was laughing as I explained, "That's his name, Big."
I gave him that name because I anticipated just such conversations.
They always reminded me of the Bud Abbott and
Lou Costello routine, "Who's on First?"
It's amazing how quickly I bonded with that Great Dane.
If you have a dog, you understand how they blend into a family.
They ride in our cars. They sleep with us (forget that one
with Big). We talk to them as though they could understand
us. Occasionally my boys even dressed Big in clothes. They'd
slip red Nike shorts over his hind legs and a white sweatshirt
over his front legs. Next they'd secure a hat to his head and
sunglasses on his nose.
While Big looked cute all dressed up-umm, maybe stupid
would better describe him-the truth is he didn't need
shorts and a sweatshirt. Why? Because even without them he
wasn't naked. No animal is ever regarded as naked. Think
about it for a moment. Have you ever seen a dog strolling
down the street without shorts and a shirt and wondered why
it wasn't dressed? Of course not! And no cop ever ticketed a
dog for indecent exposure.
Nothing can be naked in the same sense people are naked.
Not trees, rocks, dogs, or dolphins. As men, we're not curious
about the nakedness of an animal or plant. How could we be?
They can't be naked. What man ever searched the Internet for
pictures of naked dogs? (If you know, please don't tell me.)
Women can be naked. Yet they seldom are. The women we see
every day at work and in our communities are all clothed. A
naked woman reveals what is almost always hidden from male
eyes-the beauty of her body.
Comedian and television personality Tim Allen said he'll
never forget the first time he saw a picture of a naked woman.
He said, "In a way, the picture was both frightening and reassuring.
I realized for the first time that, dumb as it sounds,
all women are naked under their clothes That discovery
made me distrust all women forever: they're hiding this! They
have this power and I didn't even know it. It's just under their
clothes!"
Allen raises an issue that most men can identify with;
namely, how can women walk around every day and hide
something so wonderful? And how can they pretend they
don't know what they're doing?
I find his comments amusing and helpful. Amusing because
they so openly express what many men feel but would
never say-at least, they wouldn't put it in writing. Helpful
because they reveal part of the reason why naked women look
so good: men want to see something beautiful that's been hidden
from them.
The opening pages of the Bible give us additional insight
into the mystery of a woman's appeal. In the next chapter
we'll examine why God made naked women look so good.
FOR DISCUSSION
1. Can you remember the first time you saw a naked
woman, either in person or in a photograph? How did it
affect you? Can you still see the image in your mind? If
so, what does that tell you?
2. How do evolutionists reduce sexual magnetism to a
purely animalistic experience? What's the problem with
such a view?
3. Proverbs 30:18-19 (NIV) says,
There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.
What do we learn about the attraction between a man and
a woman from these verses?
4. How is nakedness unique to people? How does the fact
that women are usually clothed affect men? Why?
5. How do you think most men believe God feels about the
sexual attraction men have for women? What does that
tell you about their view of God? Why do you think they
view God that way?
(Continues.)
