Names, Games, and the Long Road Trip: Genesis-Exodus (Paperback)

Chapter One

A JOURNEY THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE?

IF SO, THEN FOLLOW ME!

IT ALL BEGINS ON THIS ROAD ...

GENESIS

OKAY NOW, LISTEN LORD, TAKE WHATEVER YOU NEED. SHE SHOULD HAVE A SMOOTH COMPLEXION, BIG BROWN EYES, A CUTE LITTLE NOSE, AND FULL RED LIPS ... OH! AND DON'T FORGET, HER MEASUREMENTS SHOULD BE ...

KEEP IT UP, ADAM, AND I WON'T USE ANESTHESIA DURING THIS SURGERY!!

NO UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY

EVE IN PRODUCTION

NOW THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND EMPTY,

DARKNESS WAS OVER THE SURFACE OF THE DEEP, AND THE SPIRIT OF GOD WAS HOVERING OVER THE WATERS.

LET THERE BE LIGHT

... AND THERE WAS LIGHT, AND GOD SAid THAT THE LIGHT WAS GOOD.

ON THE SECOND DAY, GOD CREATED THE SKY.

ON THE THIRD DAY, GOD CREATED DRY GROUND, SEAS, AND ALL KINDS OF VEGETATION.

ON THE FOURTH DAY, GOD CREATED THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE STARS.

ON THE FIFTH DAY, GOD CREATED ALL THE CREATURES THAT LIVE IN THE OCEAN.

EXCUSE ME! HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON NEMO?

I AM NOT TRYING TO KISS YOU! MY LIPS ARE ALWAYS SHAPED LIKE THIS!

AND GOD ALSO CREATED EVERY WINGED BIRD ACCORDING TO ITS KIND.

I'M BALD! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? HERE, HELP ME COVER THIS UP!

IS IT TRUE THAT A BIG HEAD MEANS A HIGH I.Q?

I HEARD IT WAS BIG FEET!

ON THE SIXTH DAY, GOD CREATED LIVING CREATURES ACCORDING TO THEIR KINDS: LIVESTOCK AND WILD ANIMALS.

ARE YOU A FROG OR A TOAD?

ACTUALLY, I'M A PRINCE!

AND HE ALSO CREATED ALL CREATURES THAT MOVE ALONG THE GROUND.

GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE AND LET HIM RULE OVER ALL CREATION.

HEY, YOU FORGOT TO PAINT HIS CLOTHES ON!

HUM ... BOXERS OR BRIEFS?

GOD RESTED ON THE SEVENTH DAY.

GOD AT REST

SHHH

GOD CREATED THE GARDEN OF EDEN, AND ALLOWED ADAM TO LIVE THERE.

GOD ALLOWED ADAM TO EAT FROM ANY TREE IN THE GARDEN, BUT HE DID NOT ALLOW HIM TO EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE.

IT PROBABLY DOESN'T TASTE GOOD ANYWAY ...

GOD MADE ADAM NAME ALL THE CREATURES ...

GRRR ...! YOU'RE A GRRRIZZLY BEAR!

GOD SAW THAT ADAM WAS LONELY.

I'M LONELY ...

GOD CAUSED ADAM TO FALL INTO A DEEP SLEEP; AND WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING, GOD TOOK ONE OF ADAM'S RIBS AND MADE A WOMAN.

SOMETHING'S MISSING ...

WHAT-?!

HELLO ... HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR RIB? I HEAR YOU ARE PASSING OUT NAMES ... GOT ONE FOR ME?

I LOVE MY RIB! I MEAN ... I LOVE YOU! A NAME FOR THE WOMAN I LOVE ... EVE! I WILL CALL YOU EVE!

NOW THE SNAKE WAS CRAFTIER THAN ANY OF THE ANIMALS IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN.

MOUSE, I HAVE AN ITCH IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT - WILL YOU SCRATCH IT FOR ME?

EVE, AREN'T YOU HUNGRY?

SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT HERE ...

THIS TREE'S FRUIT LOOKS VERY TASTY. WHY AREN'T YOU EATING IT?

GOD TOLD US NOT TO EAT FROM THIS TREE.

GOD KNOWS THAT IF YOU EAT FROM THIS TREE, YOU WILL BE JUST LIKE HIM - AND THAT IS WHY HE TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT IT. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TASTY IT IS ...

YOU'RE RIGHT, IT DOES LOOK TASTY! I WANT IT ...

... MAYBE JUST ONE ...

HA... IT IS GOOD!

ADAM, THIS FRUIT IS TASTY. WHY DON'T YOU TRY ONE?

EVE! GOD TOLD US NOT TO EAT FROM THIS TREE ...!

C'MON! IT'S GOOD! TRY IT.

WE'LL GET IN TROUBLE WITH GOD ...

OH ADAM ... YOU'VE CHANGED ... I'M TELLING YOU IT'S GOOD, BUT ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS GETTING IN TROUBLE WITH GOD ...

CHANGED? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? IF YOU WANT, I'LL EAT WHATEVER YOU ASK ...

HEE HEE ... GIRLS CAN MAKE GUYS DO ANYTHING ...

IT IS GOOD, BUT GOD DID SAY NOT TO ...

HACK! HACK! HACK!

MY THROAT! IT GOT STUCK IN MY THROAT ...!

EW! SOMETHING'S STICKING OUT IN YOUR NECK!

WHEW - WELL AT LEAST I CAN BREATHE AGAIN ...!

... DID YOU KNOW ... UM ... THAT YOU'RE NAKED ...?!

AHEM! YOU'RE NAKED TOO ... HUM ... EMBARRASSING.

ADAM! ADAM! WHERE ARE YOU?

ADAM! COME OUT HERE!

DON'T ANSWER HIM. IF WE KEEP HIDING, WE'LL BE SAFE.

I DON'T KNOW ... DON'T YOU THINK HE CAN SEE US?

ADAM! COME OUT HERE!

GOD? I'M EMBARRASSED BECAUSE I'M NAKED. THAT IS WHY I WAS HIDING.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE NAKED? DID YOU EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE?

I ATE IT BECAUSE THE WOMAN YOU MADE GAVE IT TO ME ...!

IT'S TRUE!

IT WAS THE SNAKE! THE SNAKE TRICKED ME INTO EATING IT!

ADAM'S A TATTLETALE

IT WAS ... UH-OH.

YOU WILL CRAWL ON YOUR BELLY AND YOU WILL EAT DUST ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE. I WILL PUT ENMITY BETWEEN YOU AND THE WOMAN AND HER OFFSPRING: HE WILL CRUSH YOUR HEAD, AND YOU WILL STRIKE HIS HEEL.

YOUR PAIN IN CHILDBEARING WILL BE GREATLY INCREASED.

BY THE SWEAT OF YOUR BROW, YOU WILL GET YOUR FOOD UNTIL YOU RETURN TO THE GROUND, SINCE FROM IT YOU WERE TAKEN; FOR YOU ARE DUST, AND TO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN.

GOD BANISHED THEM FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN. HE PLACED A FLAMING SWORD FLASHING BACK AND FORTH TO GUARD THE WAY TO THE TREE OF LIFE.

GOD MADE US THESE CLOTHES.

HE IS SO GENEROUS ...

AND WE STILL HAVE REASON TO BE HAPPY.

WHY IS THAT?

WHAT WOULD WE HAVE DONE IF GOD HAD SEPARATED US AS A PUNISHMENT?

YES, WE MUST THANK GOD ALWAYS.

UH-OH! IT'S TIME TO GO TO WORK.

COME HOME EARLY IF YOU CAN ...

OKAY. I'LL BE HOME RIGHT AFTER WORK!

(Continues...)