Prayers for New and Expecting Moms (Hardback)

Chapter One

Everyone at the office had been pestering Renee to find out the sex of her baby ever since her obstetrician informed her that the optional procedure was her call. At thirty-five years old, Renee had jokingly told her coworkers that she'd already waited a good number of her adult years just trying to get pregnant. Another four months she could handle. Still, Renee wondered if she shouldn't go ahead and just get it done regardless. Her physician had explained to Renee that she was at a higher risk now due to her first pregnancy coming after age thirty. When Renee explained that even if her unborn baby had physical problems she would still carry her child to term, her doctor relented. But her physician advised Renee that ultrasounds were helpful in detecting unseen potential problems that the delivery team could be made privy to and prepare for prior to the actual birth. After she discussed this information with her husband, Tim, they decided to go ahead and have the ultrasound. "Just don't tell us the sex of the baby," Renee implored.

On the afternoon of the ultrasound, Renee and Tim sat waiting nervously. Suddenly the import of what had seemed to be a simple enough decision loomed large before them both. Renee started wondering about how just knowing a problem existed, if it did, would forever change the final months of the pregnancy. How would she handle the knowledge that something was wrong? Could she relax and enjoy the remainder of this long-awaited pregnancy? How would she respond to others' questions and their proposed solutions to such an emotionally charged situation? Just when Renee was about to get up and leave the waiting room, her name was called. Tim took Renee's trembling hand and gripped it tight.

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! Thou hast relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer. -Psalm 4:1

Dear Lord, I am afraid. I am honestly frightened that I may not handle the news that I might be called upon to hear. Suddenly, I am worrying about all the "what-ifs" again. This entire pregnancy has been such a gift to me. You know the long years I waited to become a mother. And now, when that precious time draws so close, I am wasting my days and nights fretting about the unknown. I cannot even sleep at night so powerful are my worries. At times, I feel paralyzed by a growing apprehension that something will go badly wrong with my baby's development. Lord, only you can see what the coming days will bring. You alone are able to hold this world, my world, securely in its place. Teach me to lay my fears and my fretting down at your feet. Give me the strength and the good sense to leave them there. Instruct my heart in wisdom and give me a generous outpouring of your grace. Let not uncertain happenings spoil these treasured months of carrying my unborn child. Give me a strong and robust faith, one that will gladly face down the enemies of my soul. Encourage my heart when weariness and doubts begin to plague my mind. Bring into my life others of like faith who will speak words of comfort and consolation when I need it most. Surround me with your protection and lift my smallish mind to see beyond potential troubles. Open my heart and soul to receive this blessing with all the joy you seek for me. Thank you for your faithfulness and your goodness. I am so grateful for your provision of love and mercy. My greatest desire is that I learn this lesson of faith so soundly that I might teach it to my own child when the day comes. A greater lesson I could not bestow on my dear child, heart of my heart. Prepare me to be the mother you have designed me to grow into-in your time and through your grace. Amen.

Life is not a performance. The most important battles are fought where no one sees them. -Jerry White in Making Peace with Reality

Chapter Two

Pam wished she had had the forethought to bring a pair of earplugs with her to her sister's house. After an hour of listening to her nieces and nephews either screaming for attention or screaming in earnest, Pam felt nearly deaf. Patting her own still flat abdomen, Pam wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of becoming a mom herself. Married only two short months, Pam never dreamed she would get pregnant so quickly. But she had. A quick stop at Jean's might help me gain some perspective, she had thought. If anyone can help me get a better perspective on impending motherhood, Jean can. At least that had been her hope. "But it's certainly not working out as I had planned," she lamented as her niece threw her brother's Tinker toy creation across the floor, thus eliciting more yells from said brother. Just as Pam was getting up, ready to snatch her purse for a quick exit, Jean reentered the room with a tall glass of lemonade, Pam's favorite. She sat back down, resigned.

"OK, Pam, let's grab a few minutes while it's quiet and catch up a bit."

Was she kidding? Pam looked around the room to see if her normally sane sister had lost her mind. With three rambunctious kids under age six running helter-skelter through the house, she wanted to talk? Amazing, Pam bristled. Taking a sip of lemonade, Pam looked up at Jean who seemed oblivious to her chaotic surroundings. Gulping down the rest of her drink, Pam abruptly looked at her watch, made her excuses and walked out fast. Outside, Pam dug around for her keys, "Where are they?" she said in frustration. "Must have left them inside." Re-entering Jean's kitchen, Pam looked around but found no keys. Just when her spirits couldn't sink any further, Pam's niece sidled up to her with an exuberant smile as she offered Pam her keys, now attached to a ribbon with a red construction paper heart hanging from it. "For you, Aunt Pam," and she held Pam close. Unexpectedly, Pam felt the first surge of expectant joy rush through her, and she began to feel hopeful.

Thus says God the Lord, Who created the heavens and stretched them out, Who spread out the earth and its offspring, Who gives breath to the people on it, And spirit to those who walk in it, I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness, I will also hold you by the hand and watch over you. -Isaiah 42:5-6A

Dear Lord, each part of me is hard pressed to accept the truth of my condition. This shouldn't have happened to me-not yet. I'm just not ready to become a mother. It's only been a short while since I married. I'm still getting used to being a wife. Everything has changed so quickly. Marriage, now motherhood. I'm still reeling from the news and I can't seem to gain a foothold on this. How will I manage marriage, working, and being a mom? I'm not ready for more life changes. Lord, I understand that children are indeed blessings from your hand. I believe that you have a purpose and a plan for my life. Yet I never expected this! I had my life planned out pretty well, thank you. I didn't want children for some years. Lord, I can't do this alone. I'm so weary of trying to figure out how to make it all work. I've cried more tears in the last few weeks than in my entire life. And no one seems to understand what I'm going through. People offer celebratory congratulations while I struggle to make my whimpering response. Intercede for me, please. I need your strength and your perspective. Extend to me a good measure of grace and show your benevolent mercy toward me. I am weak, weak and unsure, frightened and overwrought. Lord, I cannot walk this road without you. Be my arm of strength to lean upon, my wisest counselor, and my dearest confidante. Amen.

No, parents, you are not paranoid. Babies really have been sent into your life to confuse all your plans, to frustrate your best intentions, to outwit you at every turn and to drive you to your knees. In short: to reduce you to tears, just like themselves. -Mike Mason in The Mystery of Children

Chapter Three

Jill closed one eye and squinted through the other as she tried to see what the scales read. Sixteen pounds already, Jill lamented. Checking the wall calendar, Jill counted the weeks since her baby's conception. Twelve weeks along and I've already gained over one third of the total weight the doctor recommended. As Jill began mentally tabulating her progress, she guessed she'd be way over her OB's recommended weight gain if she kept the pace she had set. Well, Jill thought ruefully, it will be nothing new. I've fought against the extra pounds my entire life anyway. But Jill's more realistic thoughts soon gave way to some inner panic.

She went into her kitchen and stood there trying to decide what to eat. Instead of focusing on eating a nutritious meal that both she and her baby needed, Jill was thinking in terms of low-calorie, low-fat, and low-carbohydrate. She didn't want to put back the weight she'd worked so diligently to take off just a few years earlier. Jill always expected to fight a battle against regaining her weight as the years wore on. But she never considered how difficult putting on the needed and expected healthy weight while pregnant would be to her psyche. She loathed going into her monthly exam and getting weighed in front of God and everybody. Jill cringed when the nurse announced her gain for everyone to hear. Then her physician would repeat her weight gain during the exam. It was as though the weight police were buffeting Jill from every angle. She didn't need to hear it. Jill was already trying to maintain a balanced and healthy attitude toward the changes occurring in her body. Still, Jill thought with determination, I've lost the extra pounds before and I'm sure that running after a little one will help me do it again.

But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment. -1 Timothy 6:6

Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into? I am fighting against my own good health and against the changes taking place inside me. I don't think I can stand to see how much my body is going to alter these next months. This is so difficult for me, Lord. You know my past struggles with accepting my body and all my difficulties in learning to work with my metabolism and genetic disposition. I have been so diligent in eating right and exercising, and now all that for nothing? Will I be doomed to see all my efforts come to naught? Even though this weight gain is temporary, I'm afraid that I won't be able to take it off once my baby is born. If I'm really honest, I still want to diet while I'm pregnant. In fact, I'm fighting against that temptation even now. Lord, help me gain some much-needed perspective here. I must, first and foremost, care for the well-being of my unborn child. Show me how shortsighted it is to be more concerned about my body image than about life in general.

In my heart, I know what is true and right. Still, I struggle against what my body is doing. I'm realizing that this wondrous work is being wrought without any effort on my part. Certainly, I must continue to take care of myself, yet you are creating a life within me and it's as though my body has taken control of me! I know this sounds foolish, but it is overwhelming to my mind. I feel and experience all these new sensations taking place and it's almost as though I'm an outsider. Lord, help me relish these next weeks and months. Give me your precious perspective and teach me to appreciate this miracle within me. Lord, this isn't just about me anymore. Help me grow up and start thinking about this little one who will soon be with us. Continue to teach me that acceptance and contentment in the midst of change is a great gift in and of itself. Never cease to transform my often-misguided heart, Lord. I know my weaknesses well. Please be with me and refine me as you see fit. For your sake and the sake of our baby, I pray. Amen.

The burlap bag of worry. Cumbersome. Chunky. Unattractive. Scratchy. Hard to get a handle on. Irritating to carry and impossible to give away. -Max Lucado in Traveling Light for Mothers

Chapter Four

Megan was pregnant. But she wasn't excited, nor was she happily anticipating telling her husband, Kurt. Megan still winced in memory of the last time she became pregnant and the emotional aftermath that had followed. At thirty-three years old, Megan had conceived four times previously. Every one of those conceptions had ended in miscarriage. By the end of the third month, she lost each precious child. After each of her miscarriages, Megan grieved bitterly, vowing to never again put herself through such misery. "We'll adopt," Megan told Kurt. But Kurt disagreed. He had read too many "miracle" stories about women who had experienced unfortunate track records similar to Megan's yet had gone on to carry a child to term. Megan listened to Kurt quote the statistics, trying to turn dismal numbers around to make them appear more hopeful. Yet Megan resisted. She was the one whose body had to endure the horrible pain of miscarriage and the emotional strain that losing one's child places on a woman. So, for the time being, Megan and Kurt had called a truce: no more adoption planning from her and no more pep talks from him. They both realized the other needed some time to heal from their most recent loss.

Fast-forward five months: Megan is again pregnant, but this time she is under the care of a fertility specialist. Unlike many of her fellow patients, Megan has no trouble getting pregnant. Still, her previous losses put her in a high-risk category. Megan is troubled when she hears the news, but a minute part of her dares to believe that this time, under these circumstances, she might be able to carry her baby the entire nine months. What Megan doesn't want is to hear the overly exuberant voice of Kurt, whose enthusiasm, so reminiscent of her four previous pregnancies, would resound in her heart only as bitter reminder of what they'd already lost. But suddenly realizing that she must not hang on to past disappointments, Megan stops herself short and sends up a plea to her loving Father to help her turn a corner in her emotions and begin to rejoice over this new life within her.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried. -Isaiah 53:4A

Dear Lord, can I endure another tragic loss? I don't believe I am able to shoulder the burden of another miscarriage. I cannot go back to that place of grieving again. Lord, you will have to meet me right where I stand-now, even at this very moment. I do not want this burden upon me any longer. I am in a stranglehold of consuming fear and do not know how to free myself from it. Hold my heart, my soul, in your able hands.

Continues...